Devotees Care
Бхакти Вигьяна Госвами · Нью-Йорк · 2022
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Mangalacharan and preliminary devotional prayers
Nam Vishnu Padaya Krishna Prashtaya Bhutale Srimate Bhaktividanta Swami Tinamini, Namaste Saraswati Devi, Gouravani Pracharini, Nirvisha Sunyavadipachyade Satani Vanchakau Pataru Bescha Kripa Sindu Vacha Patitanam Pavani Bhyovishnavabyonawamaha Sri Krishna Chaitanya Prabhunitananda Sriadwaita Bdatha Sivasadhi Guru Bhakta Vrinda Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare Hare Ramahare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare, Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hhareare Hare, Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare, Hare Ramahare Ramhare Hare. Namasrishammanu Madi Sachiputramatraswarupam Rubam Tasyagraja Marupurim Madhurim Ghostavatim Radakundagiri Varamaha, Radikamadavasma Prabtoya Sapratidakripaya S Yun tak pravi mama vache ma prasukta, sanzivaya taki la shakti darah, swadama, anjam charana shravanatva gadim pranandam bhagavate purusayatubya, swasyastu viswasya kalah prasidha tam, dyantu butani sivam mitho diamanas chabadramba ja tata toksha ja, So
again thank you very much. It's a big honor for me to speak in front of all of you. And before we start speaking about
the principles of devotee care, which is very important, we should understand very clearly what the obstacles are.
Unless we understand what are the obstacles, natural obstacles due to circumstances we are living in, and the whole atmosphere, the culture. The attempts to build some strong community will
not be successful because in any path to achieve the goal we have to be very clear about the obstacles. That's the standard understanding of uh Vedic philosophy.
In Vedic philosophy you have to know where you are now, what goal you want to achieve,
and what are the obstacles, what is the process or the path which is leading you from the place where you are now to the goal you want to achieve.
Natural human desire for community
And one of the most important aspects, the fourth aspect of this, is to know the obstacles. Actually, community is a very natural thing. As human beings, we are social beings. We need society.
We are not self-sufficient and society is a natural organization of human beings because everyone has his own unique talents, his own unique contribution. And altogether we are making it complete whole.
Maybe not complete whole, but at least some semblance of complete whole when everyone is productively contributing to the needs of others.
So we can see that from the very ancient time till today, people are living in communities. You know, if we are alone, we will not survive for a long time. We need some other people.
So, in one sense, there is no need to speak about community because it's a natural organization of any humans.
But at the same time, we can see again very clearly that at this day and age we have to make an extra endeavor to create some sort of community. Why?
Because the whole atmosphere of the society is actually not very conducive for this.
That's what Śrīla Prabhupāda encapsulated in his praṇāma mantra, where he says, Nirviśeṣa, I'm coming here to these countries, Western countries, which are infested or infected by this nirviśeṣa-śūnyavāda.
And it's not that this infection is outside us, this infection is deeply rooted inside us. We are being conditioned souls, the very definition of conditioned soul means that we are depending on the external conditions.
We are something like this little animal which is called chameleon. I've seen it once in my life, you know. It crawls or it runs from one place to another place, and he takes exactly the color of the environment.
So being conditioned means something like this.
When we are in a certain conditions, we are or in a certain environment, we become dependent on this environment and we take shape, even not consciously, subconsciously we are taking the shape of the environment so that we will not be too much different from the environment we that we are in.
Because we all know in subconscious level somewhere deep inside that if we are too much different, it's kind of dangerous. You know, we become a very tempting target for other people.
And again, it takes a lot of energy to be too much different. Of course, being Hare Kṛṣṇa, we anyway too much different, but still we are not too much different. Hare Kṛṣṇas living in America,
Habitual impersonalism versus personal faith
We're still kind of you know adopting some customs of the land and some ideas of the land, not necessarily consciously but subconsciously.
And again, the problem with this is that originally the Krishna's culture, the culture of Krishna consciousness is extremely personal.
But because we are living in this atmosphere which is infected by these ideas and conceptions of impersonalism. Not even conceptions, not so much conceptions.
It's not that, you know, when Prabhupāda says that I'm liberating these people who are living in the Western countries and they're all you know they're all devout. Devout Buddhists. No,, no no, no.
We are habitual impersonalists. We are not philosophical impersonalists. We are, in our day-to-day dealings, we are impersonalist.
So we have to understand it very clearly, and that's the main obstacle in all our attempts to build some relationship. Because relationship is only possible between person and person.
And the original concept of God, I mean the Hare Krishna philosophy, Gaudiya Vaiṣṇava. Out of all Vaishnavas we have the most personal God. Krishna is extremely personal. He is on this extreme.
On one extreme we have Buddhist void, which is extremely impersonal. And on the other extreme we have Krishna who is playing flute, you know. So who is smiling all the time.
And he's much more personal than Viṣṇu of Śrī Vaiṣṇava tradition. And even Lord Ramachandra. Lord Ramachandra is, you know, he's God, but he is much more reserved in a sense.
And the variety of relationship he is entering with different living entities is quite restricted. Whereas according to the definition of Śrīla Rūpa Gosvāmī, Krishna is akhila-rasāmṛta-mūrti.
He is the sum total of all the rasas of all the different relationships with all the flavors and different tinges and different different varieties of relationship.
So basically when we're talking about Vaishnava community or more specifically or more exactly Gaudiya Vaishnava community, we are talking about very close, deep and personal relationship which are uniting us together with Krishna in the center.
We are personal servants of personal God who have naturally very personal relationship between us, and this personal relationship become the means for us to enter into a personal relationship with God.
Because you know to enter into personal relationship with God from our condition on the earth it's too much of a jump. It's a huge leap. So to enter into this personal relationship, we have to really kind of rehearse ourselves in this environment.
Materialist philosophy and artificial intelligence
We have to enter into a very personal relationship with each other and try to feel how it is to be a person in the personal, in the context of personal relationship.
So, uh, but again, the very deep problem is that it's not the philosophy of the modern society, of course, the philosophy is there, and it's the philosophy of materialism, which is ultimately Sunya Vada. Materialism is nothing but covered Sunya Vada because the Buddhists they say there is the ultimate reality is void.
And materialists they say that ultimate reality is, you know, There was some matter which was condensed in a point and then this point exploded and then you know the whole material creation is a result of this big bang.
So we're little you know we're little we have post-traumatic psychology disorder due to this big trauma. So, but, uh, the idea, uh, I again, it's the same. It's ultimately nothing is there.
There is no God, there is no absolute truth, there is no persons. We're all machines. Ultimately, this materialistic philosophy is the underlying idea: is that we're all machines, we are all robots.
And therefore, they are, you know, they are enamored by this idea of artificial intelligence that at one point they will create computers which will be like robots or like like human beings.
And, you know, they—it's all so absurd. But because this idea is so deeply rooted in their heart, they really believe that it's possible.
Whereas we know that: what is the difference between us and the program? The difference between us and the program is that there is a there is a person behind it.
And there is impersonal mind with its program, the mind is a machine, you know, body is a machine, intelligence is a machine, we have quite elaborate
machinery, but ultimately deep down we are a beautiful person, a beautiful spiritual entity, which is hankering to enter into personal relationship with our own origin, with God, who is also personal and not only personal, extremely personal, waiting for us and seeking our personal touch in relationship with Him.
So besides this initial idea which formed Western society and which gave the Western society its shape, the shape which we have now, you know all the institutes of this society is they are progressively more and more impersonal.
Like yesterday I was in a big hospital in Toronto. You know, in big modern hospital. And it's just unbelievable how the whole atmosphere of this hospital is totally impersonal.
You have all these machines and all these tubes and all these displays with, you know, and the person who is not really a person but just a robot in a machine, he's laying there and you know he's surrounded by all this
equipment and the whole feel is really something, I mean, I don't know how even to explain this. You you losing you know a big part of your personality by being in this mechanical environment.
And we can see that this mechanical and personal environment, it's not only medicine.
Medicine is one manifestation of this nirviśeṣa-śūnyavādi. The big skyscrapers is just another manifestation of this nirviśeṣa śūnyavādi.
You know, the same skyscrapers, the same people who are living there in little cubicles there in this apartments and the big totally impersonal architecture, impersonal way of living.
And most importantly, the modern society, the modern the latest inventions making us progressively more and more impersonal because we are mostly dealing not with people, but with the gadgets, with the machines.
You know, our life is more and more in these machines, not in our personal interaction. You know, and machines, it's very easy to deal with them. You push the button, and you know the result is predictable.
And uh and it's it's kind of easy, and because we are so used to deal with the machines, it's very difficult for us to deal with persons. Because there's no buttons in the persons. You know.
Of course there is, you know, there is some hidden button, you you you you push this and you get the reaction.
Navigating free will in personal interactions
But they're not so obvious and again it's not so predictable. You know, human beings, despite of again a totally impersonal philosophy which is very popular now.
You know, this I don't know if you know him, this one ideologist of the modern day and era, Yuval Noah Harari, he says, uh people have no free will. No free will. It's just machine. Just machine, whatever.
You just it's just an illusion in your head that you have free will. You know the good news is that people do have free will.
As much as they are persons, as much they are putting the stress into this part of our personality.
Of course, as much as we are conditioned by this body and mind and everything and just living according to the programs displayed in our mind and in our body, yes, we are machines to a greater extent.
But still, there is a free will. And this free will is a big problem because this free will means that
you know I approach some person and I expect something from and he gives a completely unexpected response to my approach to him. It's not uh hundred percent predictable. With machine it's it's simple, you know.
I don't know what I did with this machine. Okay. So with machine it's just a few buttons and uh you can expect something. Whereas uh while dealing with people it's much more
it's much more difficult to deal with people because you really have to respect people, you have to,
you know and again because of this impersonal philosophy or impersonal culture which is being developed we're trying to deal with people as as if they were machines. We are trying to use, to exploit people.
We have very great anger if people don't do what we want them to do. But people are people, they have free will.
You know, and to build community means to respect this completely, totally unpredictable nature of human being and uh you know, and expect that what you expect will not be, will not be fulfilled.
You know, it's much more difficult. So, you know, we see that in the modern business, again, people are reduced to some function.
You know, you go to any company and they will give you a very exact program which you have to follow. You're not a person there. Nobody expects you to be the person.
Nobody needs your personality there, it's just some hindrance. So, what I uh mean to say is that uh it's a big problem for us to build community because of this environment.
And because of this, you know, because of this whole culture which has been gradually, gradually, gradually created. You know, like teachers in school they say that when these gadgets were invented, children,
it's very difficult for them to enter into relationship because they're not used to it. They feel very insecure. You know, it's a natural feeling when you're used to deal with something which is very predictable.
And all of a sudden, you have to enter into relationship with somebody who is totally unpredictable, who will not follow what you want and will have his free will and whatever.
And you know, at one point will manifest some emotions and you know it's it's uh sometimes it's a big shock, you know, to deal with somebody's emotions.
Identity crises and loss of self
It's it's just too much for modern people, you know, because they are not used to it.
And because of this, very important thing, one other important consequence of this whole scenario which we are living in is that losing this personal contact with reality, like if we look in the Vedic culture.
In the Vedic culture everything was personal. Rivers were personal. You know, it's not just a river. There is a goddess. You know, it's not just flow of water. There is goddess, you have to deal with this, you know, river,
you have to pray, you have to enter in a certain mood. And you know the mm uh animals were of course persons and uh the trees were persons. Everything was personal.
You know, but now we're living in in this impersonal thing and it's uh it's uh it's extremely difficult.
But as I said, one very important consequence of this is that we are ourselves losing our personality and we are losing the touch with ourselves. We are not really in touch with ourselves.
This is the number one complaint of all the professional psychologists. People come to them and they say, I don't know who I am.
And this problem, this identity crisis, when people they don't know who they are is also a great impediment to enter into personal relationship because entering into personal relationship implies that you know very clearly who you are, who this other person is, and what kind of relationship has to be built between yourself.
You know, relationship is a very specific thing and when this I identity, therefore, the first thing which Krishna says to Arjuna in Bhagavad-gītā, he says, you remember who you are, you forget it.
This whole crisis which you experience now on the battlefield of Kurukṣetra is because you forget uh what is your duty and who you are. And therefore you don't know what to do.
You don't know what is your role in this whole scenario. So that's I mean that's a very brief description of the situation which we have to deal with people are feeling insecure.
And you know, another feature perhaps very important feature of See this this microphone manifests some free will. Some unpredictable behavior. But it's kind of easy to to put him back on track.
Something else I wanted to say. It's okay. I can move myself. But uh anyway doesn't matter, it's uh it's gloomy enough picture to to uh to understand how difficult it is. And that's exactly why, yeah,
Superficiality and lack of commitment
one more thing which I wanted to say about describing the situation. Because of this nirviśeṣa śūnyavādī atmosphere, atmosphere which is very very, impersonal and definitely influencing us in one way or another.
People still need relationship. We're all emotionally dependent on other people, we need support of other people. We definitely need it. So relationships are still there.
But one effect of this whole thing is that relationships, even though they exist, they become somewhat shallow. They're not going deeper.
You know, if we see the examples of personal relationship from Mahabharata, for example.
You know, people for their personal relationship, for the sake of personal relationship, for the sake of maintaining personal relationship in a certain way, they were ready to sacrifice their life. You know, that was so deep.
They had this very deep identity and this identity was defined by their personal relationship and they that was very valuable for them.
So what is happening in our culture when we see yes, people enter into this personal relationship because it's difficult, because they're not really used to it, because they don't really know how to do it, the relationship breaks very easily.
It's just, it's cheap.
You know, even marriage relationship, you know, I enter into one marriage relationship and, you know it didn't work, you know, and and then another, you know, and Prabhupada used to say that if if people, you know, they're a little uncomfortable, little impediment in their personal relationship, and the relationship breaks very easily because of this again of this of not understanding
that real relationship is the labor. It's a work which we have to really put into this. And you know, somebody recently told me that there was one lady,
she was not a devotee, but of course uh this scenario is possible and uh she had four
marriages or something like this and when somebody asked her why did you have four marriages or five marriages or whatever she said it's better to have five uh happy marriages than one unhappy.
You know that that was your observation. Rather than suffer through the life.
But then again, it's it's just uh it's just a manifestation or uh it's just a proof that people are ill-equipped in our culture to build some deep relationship. Superficial, yes, no problem.
Smile, you know, keep smiling, this and that, have a good day, that's not a problem. But community is not built on this "have a good day" motto. It's much deeper, you know, because community means commitment.
Community means that, and commitment means commitment, you know, the deep relationship implies commitment and implies sacrifices from our side, you know, for the sake of relationship.
Because that's the only way to really build deep relationship if we're ready to sacrifice for this. It's not just, you know, you read some teach yourself book how to build community and you are here you are, you know.
The few recipes are there, the few simple guidelines are there, you follow these guidelines and poof, miracle is there. Loving community is manifesting itself out of nothing. No, it's it's work, it's it's a labor.
Importance of relationships in spiritual growth
It's actually it's a very grateful labor, but still we have to be mentally prepared to do this.
And that's why people like you know some religious people who actually value this community spirit and understand how important it is for our emotional and even physical uh intellectual and ultimately spiritual development
how relationships are instrumental for this. Relationship is not just something optional.
Relationship, deep relationship is the very foundation of our physical, emotional, intellectual, and ultimately spiritual well-being. You know, without relationship, it's a fantasy.
Śrīla Prabhupāda says that somebody who thinks that he can become Krishna conscious on his own, sitting in his little apartment somewhere in Manhattan, you know, it's just a hallucination.
He says it's it's just illusion, it's a big illusion. We can help each other in a very significant way, being, you know, a community or society of devotees, in all these respects and ultimately in spiritual sense as well.
To really become Krishna conscious we need to see examples of people and not just abstract examples, not just examples like there are plenty of examples in our books of great devotees.
But we need to see living examples and not just great devotees, but great devotees who are caring about us, who really whom we really feel that they care about us.
And this feeling is a source of great enthusiasm and great happiness in life.
You know, if we are part of something bigger than ourselves, every human being has this very strong psychological need to feel that he is a part of the bigger whole.
And especially, and this is what you know all these countries and all these parties they do, but it's essentially also to feel that we are part of the bigger whole, of the bigger whole which is good, which is benevolent, which is for good, which is working for the good of people.
So again, community is not an option. Is not something which we may not an option in the sense that you know I may want it or I may not want it.
Community is something which is extremely necessary in all levels of our existence.
And therefore, all these people who really value, who really understand deeply, very deeply, the value of this deep relationship and community and everything. What they do like Amishes, they go outside.
They don't leave Amishes as far as I know. They don't live in New York City. They understand that they will not be able to survive in this atmosphere.
Not they, the bigger whole which they manage to build and maintain over the centuries will not be able to survive in this atmosphere.
And they live in the countryside where the atmosphere is much more conducive for being personal and they still avoid all these gadgets. It's not enough to live in the countryside.
You may remain a complete māyā-buddhi or whatever living in the countryside as well.
But one precaution which they take is that they they minimize. I don't know if they avoid it completely, but sometimes they do avoid, yes, far as I know, some of these communities.
And of course, for us modern people who are brought up in big cities, it's not really an attractive option.
Obstacles to building functional communities
If we say that to build a community you have to move somewhere and you know yes some people at one point of their life they may develop this desire but ultimately it's not practical.
So, what we have to solve, this problem which we have to solve, it's not an easy problem. We want to build a functional community in a dysfunctional society, in a society which is very
impersonal, in a culture which is very impersonal and we are more or less assimilating this energy of impersonalism which is very widespread in society on a daily basis.
So it basically means that the amount of work which we have to put into building this community not doubles but I don't know it multiplies many times. You know like when you come to Mumbai and
you're there in Chowpatty temple, you can feel this amazing atmosphere and feeling of community. People are not only nice to you, nice we can be and that's not a problem but you know what is the depth of this nicety when
this mask of nicety will be taken off you due to some inevitable circumstances of some problems. But you feel that, you know, I remember once Govinda Prabhu.
No, no, it was not Govinda, it was Gour Gopal. He came to Moscow and he was staying in our ashram and and at one point I entered his room, he was staying in a small room in the ashram, and I saw him.
He's sitting there looking at some picture and crying. And I came closer to him and I saw that he has a picture of this another
Brahmachari from Govinda Prabhu from Chowpatty temple and he's looking at it. He said, I feel so much separation from him. He's crying, really crying. So who of us is capable of doing this?
Who of us is really capable of such feelings? uh you know capable of building such relationship where uh the separation with people uh you know becomes the source of our tears.
You know, and we are talking about of course, you know, Caitanya Mahaprabhu, his high ecstasies and you know we may give a nice lecture about anarpita-carīṁ cirottarūpayā karuṇāvatīrṇau kalau and naṭojjvala-rasaṁ sva-bhakti-śriyaṁ and this and that, you know, but uh Kalam and Natojvalrasam Svabhakti Sriyam and this and that, you know, but uh you know how equipped we are uh to experience all these emotions.
Caitanya Mahaprabhu brought this I mean amazingly beautiful emotions. He opened the realm of this emotions to all of us. But you know are we really equipped to experience them.
Even while we're chanting Hare Krishna mantra, while we're in kirtan and this and that. So again, because of this.
So what I want to say is that it's possible, but you know, we have to understand that it's more difficult here than for example in Mumbai. Because people still there in India they are much more personal.
You know, I know many Mayavadi sannyasis in in India. These Mayavadi sannyasis in India, they are much more personal than you know devotees, uh Hare Krishna devotees in the West.
Extremely personal people, very nice and very cordial and open hearted.
So uh uh you know we are quite far from the original soil uh which is our our original uh land is is the land of love and love means personal relationship. It's nothing but a very deep personal relationship.
When the relationship at one point becomes so deep that we call them love, that's what it is.
You know, it should start uh uh at some point uh with some distance, but when it becomes closer and closer and closer, at one point we call it love. That's what uh love is.
So if we understand first, you know, to say this, I'm speaking for how long I should speak?
Prioritizing time investment in relationships
Okay. If if you're bored please let me know.
Uh um So, what I want to say, I will say a few things, probably common sense things which you all know, but you know, in in the context of what I said before, what it means and what we should try to do, you know, to overcome this natural obstacle or unnatural obstacle to natural desire to build some community and to feel ourselves as a part of a bigger whole.
One thing most important and crucial is that we should really understand the importance of it. The more we understand the importance of it, the more deeply we understand. Because again, this in itself is a big achievement.
Because the modern society is built in such a way that people they at least for some time they may not feel that something is lacking in their life. They are living this impersonal life.
They are lonely, but there are so many gadgets, you know, they you know they they don't have friends, but they have little you know iPhone and this is a good friend and they can spend the whole life dealing with this.
So you know for some time, people may feel it's okay, it's alright. I'm okay, I'm no problem. You know, I have no problem, everything is fine in my life. So, you know, to and of course, you know, wise people come.
I'm sure Sivarama Swami Maharaj comes and he stresses this again and again and again. And it's important to hear this because by hearing this we uh it really goes deeper than even just our conscious mind.
When we hear sādhu, that's the real purpose of sādhu saṅga, you know, the the words of sādhu, the vibration of the voice of sādhu, they go deeper than our conscious mind they change something in in a deeper level, in subconscious level.
And they definitely plant this desire within our heart. But again, at least on the intellectual level, we really have to understand that this is very important and this is the priority.
Because unless we understand that this is a priority, we will not find time for this. And relationship building, community building, it's a very time consuming exercise.
It's uh it's not something which you can do by the way, you know or whatever. You know you have to invest your time uh into relationship. Because ultimately that's what relationship means.
You spend your time together and you know each other and you open your heart to each other and gradually gradually this magic takes place when something something you you
not become just lonely person living in New York, but you you become enriched by this very deep relationship with somebody or with being a part of community.
So the first condition, the first requirement, the most important requirement is we have to be ready to invest time in it. You know, like sometimes people I was a part of GBC for 21 years and I was watching how GBC works.
And of course, there are so many complaints sometimes, you know in different pockets of our society, GBC this, GBC that.
But the main problem is that there is not enough time spent together to build the relationship, and therefore, there is no really uh uh you know uh identity uh uh in the GBC as such.
GBC, you know, to uh community means identity.
It's a collective identity. We ourselves have our identity and if if we are you know uh well developed if we have this well-developed identity, then we can enter into some productive relationship with other people, and ultimately, the success of community is that there is some identity, some bigger identity, super identity. And it can be different with different flavors, you know.
It's not necessarily that this community will have the same identity as the community somewhere else. You may be the same Hare Kṛṣṇa devotees, but still you may have your different mood and flavor.
But again, what I want to say is that the first and foremost condition is that it's uh it requires time spent together and for you to spend time, which is very precious and valuable. You know, you really have to value this and give the high-ranking value to this community.
You know, unless we understand that this is something which which I need, which is very valuable for me.
We will not spend time for this, we will just, you know, if we have some extra time, no problem. But you know, it's it's not going to work like this.
You know it it's uh requires uh time and time uh mm requires for us to spend time for some sick. We really have to understand. Yes, that's important. That's what I want.
At least on a some personal level, not necessarily immediately with this. So that's the first thing which I wanted to say. Perhaps second thing which is required is also very difficult. This first thing is difficult.
Living in New York with so much pressure so you know time is is a is a luxury nowadays. You know, we hardly have any free time and if we have little free time we we have our priorities to use.
Cultivating personal interest in others
So this spiritual home, yeah, it should be so attractive that people should come here and spend as much time as possible. Then the community will develop for sure.
The next condition of course is a very again very difficult one. We should start building community with something and it basically means interest in each other.
If we see somebody as a person, everyone is a unique person and everyone has his story. You know I'm actually a very fortunate, lucky person. I I meet with many people, I know many people.
And some people come for me uh accepting me as their spiritual guide or whatever. And I usually the first thing which I ask them to tell their story.
And it's it's really amazing thing, you know, if if you ask person to tell his or her story, the
story of life, story how he or she became a devotee and how uh how they were searching for the meaning in life and this and that.
It's usually very unique, unique story and you can see how Krishna works in different ways through different people and how he is actually inspiring everyone from within to search for something higher.
So this other thing which is very important is you know to really give up one's insecurity and one's uh inability to enter into personal relationship because it's it's kind of scary.
Even Srila Prabhupāda says that people become impersonalists, in in Bhagavad-gītā he says this, because of the fear of personal relationship, because they had so much pain which they received from personal relationship.
Because of this whole unhealthy atmosphere we're living in, uh personal relationship become the source of greatest pain for us. So much sufferings we are taking and therefore we are we are very, you know, shy to do it.
We feel very insecure and really not jumping into it.
And again, it requires if if you feel that there is somebody who can enrich your life, your spiritual life and even your material life and in a good sense by being your close associate then we really have to you know to overcome this tendency to neglect people or to look at people or judge people from the very superficial point of view.
Usually that's what it is, and that's the problem of any society. When the people in the society, especially when the society becomes a little bigger, you know, we don't really know each other deeply.
And not only we don't know each other deeply, we don't want to know each other deeply. Who cares? You know. We don't have an interest in other people.
Of course, you know you can't have very close relationship with many people. Close relationship is a privilege which you may have only with with a a few people around you.
We don't have too much facilities to have very close. You know, unless you are a saintly person like Radhanat Maharaj.
It's always amazing me how he manages to enter into deep personal relationship by knowing person for seven and a half minutes and you know and seeing him for the first time.
Building a culture of respect
All of a sudden you feel and and the person feels that there is something going on and that that's why uh it's so enlivening to to be with him, to be in his presence, because you feel that you are not just a machine, you you feel that you're somebody. And you're somebody who is very dear and very unique.
So but again you know and in on the level of society this interest to other uh towards other people uh uh when we if we take little bigger society uh it's basically It's translated into word which is respect.
Because what is respect? Respect basically means that we respect the freedom of other people, respect their individuality, respect their uniqueness. You know, we respect them.
And this culture of respect is very much lacking in modern society. Again, because of this overriding principle of impersonalism.
You know, the respect is becoming more and more difficult concept for us to understand because respect means that there are different grades of respect.
Respect is not a uniform kind of feeling or thing, it's a difficult thing.
But if the respect is there, if the proper respect is there, if people understand that I am respected here in a proper way, in this respected for what I have to be respected.
Because if you you know sometimes you you try to artificially show some you know make a show some respect and uh still it's not satisfying.
But when the people feel that they are properly respected and therefore even in Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam there is so much description of you know how much respect should be given to different grades of living entities.
The whole section in Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam and the third canto of Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam, the end of the 29th chapter of the third canto, is there
the evolution of the consciousness with the idea that according to the how evolved the living entity is, the extent of respect should be given accordingly to the to the level of evolution of such person.
And Bhaktivinoda Ṭhākura very interestingly said that in his prayer to Gurudev, Gurudev Kripa Bindadiya, he says, please give me the strength to respect everyone how he deserves to be respected.
He or she deserves to be respected. Jata jatta. How to give me the strength, give me the strength, the bala, the ability, the intelligence to offer the proper respect to every person.
Again, so this concept is again very difficult because we are not trained in it. We are not really trained in this science of human relationship which are based on respect.
So, this culture of respect is another area which is very important especially in the beginning.
We should know each other who as much as possible, you know, try to know each other because you know what what kind of community it is if nobody knows anyone. You know it's not a community.
Community means you know you know the and the very minimum level of respect is is to remember the name of a person.
Because again, he is uh his individuality, his person and uh m means he has his name uh which is distinguishing him from uh other uh people and uh you know this is the minimum level of respect to to remember the name of a person and to remember something personal about this person.
So that's another thing which could and should be said before we are talking about some more deeper levels of you know relationship building.
Practical methods for spending time together
So because we only have time till late, maybe we can have some questions now. Because I already said a lot.
I don't know if this is what you wanted me to speak about, but I thought of uh if my speech was appropriate to the to your original idea. It very much was, Maharaj. Thank you so much. It's exactly what we needed to hear.
Okay. And um yeah we can open up we have a microphone to pass around for questions. I can I can speak out. Alright. Alright, thank you so much for the lecture.
Um you s you said about the spending of time together with devotees which is one of the foundations for the community. And what is the best way to spend together this time?
What is the best way to to influence that positive uh atmosphere in community to spend time together what is the best way, several ways.
Well, Chowpatty temple there is this saying which Maharaj, I don't know if it's he's or not a family which eats together or stays together, family which prays together, stays together, family which sings together or dances together.
So kirtan. Of course prayer when we are when we you know come together for certain purpose is also very important and we have some prayerful mood and eating together is also very important.
Eating together it's a it's a it's a community building exercise if if we do it again in a proper way, in a very personal way. And even serving, you know, when we serve, it's again very personal.
Whatever, you know if if we try to really tune ourselves that I'm a person, despite of all the circumstances, and everyone else around me is a person.
You know in in Vedic culture still to this day, you know the musicians before starting playing on harmonium they just you know touch harmonium they you know the they pray to harmonium because uh it's also a person you know it's not just a machine you know and they
and of course nowadays they do puja to their new cars and so and of course nowadays they do puja to their new cars and so but again it's a it's a personal touch. So uh if uh you know I I'm not saying
that we should do puja to each other, it will be very, you never come in everyone. But but eating is some sort of a puja or if we're feeding somebody
because that's the main part of pūjā, you know, when we feed the deity, when we give some prasādaṁ.
So if we give some prasādaṁ, that's what Śrīla Rūpa Gosvāmī says, bhuṅkte bhojayate caiva, you know, giving prasāda and accepting prasāda, serving prasāda and taking prasāda together is very important. serving prasad and taking prasadam together is very important.
So that's different ways. But of course, kīrtana is the most important, our most important thing. But also talking about talking with like we have some educational projects in Russian language.
And one of them is Japa Meditation School where people for six years they learn how to do japa. That was the idea to bring working on japa in their lives, not just few days on japa.
So, and they have some webinars, but not so many, mostly it's practice and uh discussion. They have little groups, you know, five-seven people.
And amazing after, you know, just discussing how they're doing with their japa and discussing the material of the webinars after a couple of years.
You know, people again and again and again, I hear it and I'm amazed myself, they say that, you know, our real life in is in this Japa Meditation School even though it is online project.
Overcoming excessive goal orientation in life
It's mostly online project but people they develop very they actually what happened with this and that's amazing the the community of devotees was built because of this process because they are regularly once a week they meet on Zoom sometimes more often, sometimes they expand it just because the energy is built up.
So the whole community of around 2,000 people take part in this project. So and it's not that they all know each other but the the spirit is the spirit of community and they say this is how real life is theirs, you know.
And we and then they invent their own ways of how to meet with each other and they say and there are some other examples like this.
So if we just in a small group we meet together regularly, which is very important, and we discuss something which is of has some spiritual significance, that really helps us to build a very deep relationship.
A practical question about this school meditation. Do we have any kind of international We are trying to do it in English, yeah. We are trying to do it in English as well, but it's still an exceptional point.
But yeah, there are there are groups from other countries, uh Russian speaking of course, but uh they're all Russian speaking. But there is an idea, I think to it's a lot of already translated, but I don't know.
The whole success of this project is that there is a dedicated team of people who are working on it to facilitate to facilitate this, so that's um that's a big question, but anyway, let's see. Yes.
Um you said something super interesting. You said that the Māyāpur devotees and the Māyāpur sannyāsīs are more personal than the Western devotees.
And I was thinking about something, what I see here, and that's not just in like spiritual life, but across the board, it's more goal-oriented than people-oriented. People interact for a goal. Once the goal's over, I see a lot of like people who aren't thinking about people outside of the world.
Of course, of course. How do we mix the two? There's a lot to do. So how do we be goal oriented and still think about people outside of mission. That's why it's very interesting. I was thinking about this today.
The first teaching of Krishna in Bhagavad-gītā, which is very difficult for us to understand, is that don't be attached to the fruits of your action. Try to learn how to act without without being goal-oriented and still work very productively and very very sincerely.
Yes, in Western society we are very much goal-oriented, and because we're so much goal-oriented, there are many, many consequences of this. First of all, we are hardly living in present. We always live with the goal.
And when we achieve goal, we just realize that no, some other goal is there. So we don't live at present. And it means that we don't live.
We are always in the future, we are dreaming about achieving this goal, how happy we will become, but you know, we are not we are hardly living at present.
Another problem of this is that while being too much goal-oriented, we don't understand that the process to achieve this goal is significant in itself.
Being too much goal-oriented means that we are not really doing every act which we do as something which is very fulfilling for us. We are not really concentrated on the work itself but more on the goal.
And Krishna, therefore Krishna says the first thing which he says to Arjuna, you know, Karmani Evadikaraste, Ma Phalesu Kadacana.
You have a adhikar, you have the right to do work. And try to do it as good as possible. The result will come, the goal will come.
Because if you are concentrated and if you are doing the work which you like to do, you know the result will come inevitably. You will achieve your goal. You will excel in your work. There's no doubt about it.
But by doing this, you will feel it will be much more fulfilling for yourself because you will take the pleasure or the fulfillment of doing the work itself.
The goal which you will achieve, the result which you will get as a result of it, will be just additional surprise to you.
But you are already fulfilled by doing what you are doing because this is what you're suited to do. And in this scenario when we are when we are not programmed, well in one sense programmed, but when we are Who to do this.
You know how to be present. We will also be able to reflect this in our personal relationship. Because again, when we're programmed, when we're goal-oriented, as you said,
I'm meeting with each other, with somebody else, and I think you know what goal I can achieve by dealing with him. And by putting goal over the person, you are denying his personality.
So there is no personal relationship because you only want to achieve the goal and you use the person as an instrument to achieve your goal. So, but if you are if you learn how to work by investing your heart into the work, to the present, what you are doing, then when you happen to meet with somebody, you will also do the same with this person.
You will invest your intelligence, your heart into the relationship with this person and uh you will not be you will not destroy your relationship and yourself by uh by too much uh by being too much obsessed with the desire to achieve certain goal.
You know, people, you know, they're they're running for these goals, but what is the result? They are frustrated at the end, you know. Even though they may achieve their goals, but what is the use?
Ultimately they are not fulfilled because they they spend their whole life running behind the goals and not really living a fulfilled life at present.
Distinguishing selfish attachment from love
So that's Thank you for the class, it was really sweet.
And I just had a question, you were talking about deeper relationships and you brought up the example of can't remember who, but a Prabhu who had a brahmachari spoke. It doesn't matter.
And so he was in crying out of separation, right? And maybe the devotees it's different, but usually when we see this kind of attachment relationships it feels really unhealthy.
So I guess can you explain like a see, there is a fine line between the attachment and love, they look similar, but it's at the same time they are completely different by nature.
Attachment is when you attach to somebody but you really want to use this person. You attach to him but you attach to him because he or she uh gives uh you some pleasure.
You're not attached to him as an individual person with his his or her free will. You're attached to somebody who is just you know there and you are trying to squeeze him or her out to for your personal benefit.
But love means that uh uh there is a person uh who is completely independent on you or of you and you're still you you still love him, you have deep relationship with him, but you're not trying to use him, but you're just enjoying by being with him by playing with him.
When the relationship becomes deep, they become the relationship of play.
It's a very enjoyable sort of two independent and unpredictable people who are enjoying by being unpredictable to each other and who are playing with each other.
Whereas when you attach to somebody, you really want to force him to do what you want to do to you impose upon him some sort of behavior, and if he or she behaves in a different way, you become angry and you don't like it.
You know, like when parents are attached to their children, they want their children to be what they want them to be. They don't want their children to be what the children want them to be.
They want to, you know, they have to be lawyers or doctors, and the children don't want to be lawyers or doctors. They have a different nature. But that's what attachment means.
Attachment means you impose upon somebody else your own concept of him. And as long as he is doing how you want him to do, you like him, you attach to him.
And if he dares to act differently, you know then you will not cry out of separation. You will just... you will just... you will just drive him away or her away. It's a different thing, you know.
Although it looks uh like the same, but uh you know, love makes you free, uh gives you the feeling that you're free, you're a free person, and you're free in this relationship. Attachment makes you a slave of relationship.
You feel that you're not, you know, I've been in such a relationship.
You always feel that you know somebody wants to put some guilt trip on you, you're not behaving the way you're supposed to behave according to his or her wishes and this and that.
And you always feel very uncomfortable in this. And you you just want to get out of this. This attach and and this person says, how dare you to get out of this? I'm so attached to you. I love you. He doesn't love you.
Or she doesn't love you. It's just, you know, it's just some trip. It's not not healthy. This is not healthy.
But when two persons are deeply in love with each other and in they have deep relationship, they feel freedom, complete freedom.
Addressing disrespect through positive norms
So that's that's the difference and that's very rare unfortunately, especially nowadays they but yeah. Last question. Thank you for the class. Um I have a question uh if uh we see a person uh
that uh behave or say something disrespectful to a person like who uh he or she should respect. Can we help somehow to this person not to do this?
Again, if his if somebody does what? Uh behave unrespectful or unrespectful to other persons. Well, if you have influence over this person you can help, but uh you know respect is not an easy thing nowadays.
It should not be taken for granted because especially of this you know social media and things like this where people feel completely free to say nasty things which they will not even be able to say in person to each other.
But we can definitely, you know, the main thing which we can do always we should be respectful of ourselves because when we meet with other people we learn from each other. And if we see, you know if the majority.
I if we come to a little society or
some community where everyone is respectful to each other, it uh people will have a hard time to manifest disrespect because they will immediately feel this norm, this norm in the society, that here people respect each other and they will try to behave also in a respectful way.
So the best way to help such people is to create the atmosphere where everyone respects each other and then they will learn from this atmosphere and they will and they will actually understand how beautiful it is, how how joyful it is to be in the society where everyone is respectful to each other.
Thank you so much Maharaj please let's give a round of applause.