Sri Caitanya-caritamrita Madhya 1.68-71
Бхакти Вигьяна Госвами · Лондон · 2019
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Caitanya Caritamrita verse discussion
Very dinsi Chaitanya Chaitamrita Madalila Chapter One The Later Pastimes of Lord Chaitanya Tex uh sixty eight to seventy one. We'll read previous verses sixty-eight.
When Rūpa Gosvāmī fell down like a rod, Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu got up and gave him a slap. Then taking him on his lap, he began to speak to him.
No one knows the purport of my verse, Sri Chaitanya Mahaprabhu said, how could you understand my intention.
Saying this, Lord Caitanya Mahāprabhu bestowed various benedictions upon Rūpa Gosvāmī and taking this verse he later showed it to Svarūpa Gosvāmī.
Having shown the verse to Svarūpa Damodara with great wonder, Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu asked how Rūpa Gosvāmī could understand the intention, the intentions of his mind.
We had the opportunity to receive a similar blessing from Śrīla Bhaktisiddhānta Sarasvatī Goswami when we presented an essay at his birthday ceremony.
He was so pleased with the essay that he used to call some of his confidential devotees and show it to them how
and of course it would be logical to read the answer by Svarūpa Dāmodara Gosvāmī, the answer by Swarupadamadar Goswami, which is the next verse.
Svarūpa-svabhāva jānila tomāra mana-tati, yāni hoi tomāra kṛpā-bhājana. Jani Hoi Tamar Kripalabajan.
Śrīla Svarūpa Dāmodara Gosvāmī replied to Lord Caitanya Mahāprabhu: If Rūpa Gosvāmī can understand your mind and intentions, he must have your Lordship's special benediction. Śrīla
Prabhupāda ki jaya! Śrīla Bhaktivedānta Swami Prabhupāda ki jaya! Namo viṣṇu-pādāya kṛṣṇa-preṣṭhāya bhū-tale, śrīmate bhaktivedānta-svāmin iti nāmine. Namaste sārasvate deve gaura-vāṇī- pracārine, nirviśeṣa-śūnyavādi-pāścātya-deśa-tārine. Vāñchā-kalpatarubhyas ca kṛpā-sindhuba eva ca, patītānām pāvane bhyo vaiṣṇavebhyo namo namaḥ. Jaya Śrī Kṛṣṇa Caitanya Prabhupānityānanda, Śrī Advaita Gadādhara Śrīvāsādi-gaura-bhakta-vṛnda. Hare Kṛṣṇa Hare Kṛṣṇa Kṛṣṇa Kṛṣṇa Hare Hare Hare Rāma Hare Rāma Rāma Rāma Hare Hare Hare Kṛṣṇa Hare Kṛṣṇa Kṛṣṇa Kṛṣṇa Hare Hare Hare Rāma Hare Rāma Rāma Rāma Hare Hare Ajanulambit Budjok Nakawadatu Sankirtanaika Pitarokamalaya tak, Vishwambaro dvi java Yugadharma Palavande Jagat Priya Karu Karunavatara, Yandah Pravishimachima pra subtam, Sandji vaya ta ki la shakti darh swa dambna, hanjam šhaha sta charna shravanatva di, pranam bhate purchay.
Understanding Chaitanya Mahaprabhu's heart
Hare Krishna.
So today we are reading this section of Śrī Caitanya-caritāmṛta, explaining to us how Rūpa Gosvāmī understood the heart of Sri Chaitanya Mahaprabhu. And because of this, he was able to explain the hearts of the feelings of Sri Chaitanya Mahaprabhu to everyone else and that's basically the origin, the root of all our movement.
Because if Rūpa Gosvāmī would not understand the intentions of Sri Chaitanya Mahaprabhu, we would not be able to have access to these innermost feelings.
Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu came to show us the path of love, the path of feelings.
And he had these amazing feelings in his heart and his main purpose is of course to experience these feelings himself and to show to us how we should experience these feelings.
And Rūpa Gosvāmī by explaining this is showing the path to us. And here Svarūpa Dāmodara Gosvāmī says that he can only understand these feelings because he got your special benediction.
And Śrīla Prabhupāda in this regard hints on the episode from his own life when he wrote an offering
to Bhaktisiddhānta Sarasvatī Ṭhākura Prabhupāda. It was in 1935, one year before Bhaktisiddhānta Sarasvatī Ṭhākura Prabhupāda passed away from this world.
And Śrīla Prabhupāda at that time in Bombay, and he was just a gṛhastha, not actually known to the society of Gauḍīya Maṭha, only a few close friends of Śrīla Prabhupāda knew him. He read his offerings to Bhaktisiddhānta Sarasvatī Ṭhākura. He wrote a special poem in this connection.
And in this poem, one stanza was that "Absolute sentient, Thou hast proved. Impersonal calamity Thou hast removed."
And when Bhaktisiddhānta Sarasvatī Ṭhākura Prabhupāda after some time was shown this verse, this poem, and they say, as Prabhupāda says here, his offerings, He was extremely pleased, especially by this stanza.
And he said, how he could understand the essence of what I am here to teach. How he could capture in these few words the very essence for what I have come.
The true nature of devotional service
Bhaktisiddhānta Sarasvatī Ṭhākura Prabhupāda wants to say to us that he came to remove this impersonal calamity from our heart which deprives us the mood of service. Ultimately what is bhakti?
Bhakti is the sincere desire to serve with the understanding that we are servants and nobody else.
And now the sincere desire to serve is completely eclipsed by all other desires. We somehow or rather, by this complete māyā, misunderstand that the innermost desire of our heart is to surf and we only can be happy if we surf.
And if we don't surf, there is no chance for us to be happy because we are not fulfilling and not following our nature. Our nature is the servant.
And therefore this impersonalism which clouds this understanding which clearly says, You're God. Forget about all these things.
Even if you have to serve this is just a pretension, just for the time being, you're serving only to become God. It's like this in this material world people are serving for what? To become promoted.
They always say, you know, I'm the servant. You know, give your votes to me, and then I will show how I serve. You will see you. I will rule and exercise my lording over propensities over you.
But for the time being, I'm serving. So in the same way, the same philosophy is there in Mayavada. Yes, yes, Bhakti is very good, very good, very good. Very good. Bhakti very good. Do bhakti. And then you become the Lord.
Just for the time being, it's no harm to pretend that you're a servant, then you will become the Lord. So Bhaktisiddhānta Sarasvatī Ṭhākura Prabhupāda, he was very pleased and amazed.
And actually, what Śrīla Prabhupāda wants to say in this purport that he received a special benediction.
As much as Śrīla Rūpa Gosvāmī could only understand the innermost intentions of the Lord because he has received special mercy. In a similar way, Prabhupada wants to say that I know the heart of my master.
I know the heart of my eternal master my Guru and therefore I was able to fulfill his desire. Only because I knew this desire uh very closely in my heart, only because of this uh I I and because of his mercy only.
Somebody may say that Srila Prabhupada is proud here, but Srila Prabhupada is actually saying that whatever I have done, I have done only because
Hanuman's pure devotion to Lord Rama
I received mercy of Śrīla Prabhupāda, his Śrīla Prabhupāda, Bhaktisiddhānta Sarasvatī Ṭhākura Prabhupāda, and Lord Krishna. And that's actually the essence of what we have to learn.
And in Rāmāyaṇa, and because we are celebrating Lord Rāma, I will tell something in connection with this.
In Rāmāyaṇa Lord Ram himself he celebrates Hanumān. When Hanumān comes back from Lanka with good news that he finally found Sītā.
It's again it's very interesting because from the very beginning when Lord Rāma was in Kishkinda and uh nobody knew where Sītā was, uh and then Sugrīva uh sent four parties of monkeys in four directions.
He said to one party you go to north another party went to east another party went to west and and then Hanumān uh was sent to the south and Lord Chaitanya I was sorry Lord Chaitanya
Lord Rāma he called uh Hanumān uh to himself and he said, I know only you will find Sītā. Because you're so sincere servant. Only you can find Sītā. Nobody else can find Sītā. Nobody else can fulfill the desire of mine to find Sītā and ultimately to help us to reunite.
And therefore Lord Rāma gave him the special ring. And he said, When you see Sītā, you will give her this ring and she will understand that you are my envoy, my messenger.
And when Hanumān came back from Lanka being successful in his mission, Lord Rāma was so pleased. He was crying. He was embracing Hanumān and crying and he saying how you know how you could do it.
And of course Hanumān would say because of your mercy.
That's the relationship between the Lord and the Master, then the master and the servant, you know the master is giving the benediction and the servant is sincerely trying to fulfill the desire of his master. And in this way it becomes a very joyful relationship.
And at that time Lord Rāma said that there are three kinds of servants. He said there is uh Kanishta dasa, you know the low grade servant, third class servant. And the third class servant, you tell him something and he will think a little bit, scratch in his head, and he says, Oh let's wait a little bit. Maybe it's not necessary to do it. You know, we all know sometimes it works, you know. Just wait a little bit and then you don't have to do it.
So this is the third class servant he's doing this or maybe he's doing it but grudgingly, not willingly.
He doesn't really have the desire to serve, he is just servant ex officio. He just calls himself servant because it's uh it's beneficial for himself. I am Dasa. You know. I have my name. I got my name. Look at me.
I am Dasa. Lord Rāma says the second-class servant, when the master tells him something, he does it. And he does it willingly. It's a good servant, but he's still second-grade.
And uh he says to Hanumān, but there is a first-class servant. That the first-class servant, he does something which what his master wants without master saying this. The master doesn't give him any order.
And he runs and does it and comes to his master and says, and master says, "How did you know what I wanted? I myself didn't know. You know.
Hanumān went to Lanka and he found Sītā and by the way he burned the whole Lanka and he reported it to Lord Rāma. Yeah. You didn't tell me, you only told me to find Sītā. But I by the way I also burnt Lanka.
Then Rāma said, "How did you understand that I wanted this? You know, without me saying this.
Arjuna's test in Srimad-Bhagavatam
But the idea is very deep behind this. If you meditate constantly, then this understanding comes and it's in a sense a mystical process. If you have the desire to please the Lord, then the Lord will give
you the understanding how to please Him. And sometimes it's not easy. And we see even in Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam how the Lord tests his devotee. It's actually the crucial test whether the devotee is capable
of understanding the innermost desire of the Lord. Practically the beginning of the whole Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam.
So in the very beginning of the narration of Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam when uh Sūta Gosvāmī starts narrating about Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam
the practically the very first story about Lord Krishna when Lord Krishna first appears on the pages of Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam is the test how Krishna tests his servant Arjuna.
He puts Arjuna in a very bewildering situation, he says, you kill Aśvatthāmā. And then Draupadī says, "No, don't kill Aśvatthāmā." And Yudhiṣṭhira says, "Don't kill Aśvatthāmā."
And of course Bhīma is there and says, "Kill him, kill him, kill him." And then the twins they say, you know, no, better not kill him.
So, and then Krishna looks at Arjuna and says, uh, now you have to fulfill everyone's desire. Kill him and not kill him. And he looks at Arjuna.
And but the the whole intention is that to show the glories of Arjuna. To show how Arjuna, how the real devotee can understand the heart
of the Lord can understand the intentions of the Lord and Arjuna of course brilliantly fulfills the desires of the Lord by killing and not killing Aśvatthāmā,
by uh cutting the jewel from his head and depriving him from all his power but at the same time not killing him physically and not leaving his widowed mother without son uh kṛpa according to the desire of Draupadi.
But again the point is that the whole idea of Bhakti is to understand the heart of the Lord. The whole idea of bhakti is not to do something externally, but to do something internally.
Because you may do something externally which may be externally according to whatever but if you don't understand the desire, the innermost desire of the Lord or your master or your spiritual master, your guru,
uh y you will make mistake. And you will even make offences. And uh this is uh great art and this is what we are supposed
to do to tune up our mind in such a way that we will understand what is going on in the heart of other people.
The importance of self-understanding
To make us so sensitive that we will be able to understand the desires of other people and desires of the Lord first and foremost, of course.
And how to do this this is not easy, and uh I would humbly say this, connecting this whole narration with Lord Rāma's past times, that uh before we will be able to understand the desire of the Lord, we have to understand our own desires.
It's not possible for us to understand somebody else's desires if we don't understand our desires.
And oftentimes people don't understand what do they want and they you know they in a hurry to please others and uh in this uh suicidal course of pleasing others without understanding what they want they they basically they make offences and they are getting lost.
Therefore one very important part of Vedic teachings and a very important part of teachings of Lord Rāma in Rāmāyaṇa is you understand who you are and act accordingly. You understand very clearly what is your nature and act accordingly.
Not act according to your whims, to the kāma. You know, kāma is not our desire. Kama is something superficial. The real Vedic teachings is to understand what is your real desire.
You have to understand this and you can only understand this if you uh purify your nature, if you rectify your nature and if you develop your nature,
then you will understand your dharma, the the real desire which you have. Otherwise you will be doomed in the sense that you will always fulfil your whims. Come last.
You will be driven by this superficial desire, and it's very interesting because when I was thinking about this particular verse and purport of Śrīla Prabhupāda.
I remembered how Śrīla Prabhupāda proudly would describe to his disciples how his father would fulfill his desires. When he was just a small boy,
father and Prabhupāda with tears in his eyes would describe how his father was really obedient to his desires. Prabhupāda once told that you know he loved kachoris very much. So much so that his nickname was Kachori Mukh.
Someone who always has kachori next to his mouth. So, and he said once I, and his mother was sometimes annoyed because he would, you know, he would like to have kachoris every time of the day, you know.
Sometimes before going to bed he would ask mother, give me kachoris. And mother was annoyed.
And mother would send him to bed and said, You know, you go to sleep, no kachoris tonight. So he said once I was demanding kachoris at night, and mother sent me to bed, and I started sleeping, and my father came back home.
And he asked Mother what happened, and mother said, you know, this Abhaya he was demanding kachoris, and I sent him to sleep. He said, No, it's not good.
And he woke me up and he personally made kachoris for me and fed me with these kachoris.
And the next episode, which Prabhupāda again very proudly describes, he said that once I was, you know, we were going to the market, and I saw some, you know, toy gun.
And I started demanding, Father, can buy a gun for me? And Father didn't want to buy a gun.
Śrīla Prabhupāda said, And I lay down on the earth and I started crying. And father bought me this toy gun, and I said, No, second one too. And Father asked, why do we want second one?
He said, Because I have two arms, one in one hand, another is in another hand. And Prabhupāda was saying this. Why he was saying this? Because it's important, especially when
the child is little, not too, you know, really kind of, you know, push him down, he has to be he has to be conscious what he really wants. And that starts from the childhood.
Of course, at one point you will have to explain to him that you have to fulfill your duties and take responsibilities. But in the beginning, if you do this to the child, the child uh uh will Actually lose himself.
Developing independently thoughtful devotees
If you will tell prematurely to the child you're not supposed to you know uh have this desire uh I it's not so good. You will actually spoil the life of this child and the child will never understand he will always think that my desires are something wrong and he will not discover his real desires. He will not discover his nature.
That's why Prabhupada said, and that's why Prabhupada in this famous letter to Karandara he says the purpose of this Krishna consciousness movement is to bring up independently thoughtful people.
It sometimes sounds like a contradiction. How is that we are supposed to be dependent and all of a sudden independently minded people. But only because uh actually we can really serve if we are independently minded.
If we are dependent, if we don't know our own desires, we will never be able to serve. We will pretend that we serve. It will be just a disguise. We will we will take this guise of of a servant.
And uh inside we will desire something else and ultimately we will be confused. That's exactly why Lord Krishna didn't approve uh that's exactly what uh was worried of Arjuna uh before the battle of Kurukshetra.
He said that people will be Varna Sankara. And Varna Sankara people they don't know what they want. And because they don't know what they want, they don't don't have clear cut nature.
And because they don't know their nature, uh they will do all kinds of nonsense. Just to you know to because they were overwhelmed by this by this karma.
So it's very interesting to uh I wanted to describe one uh very instructive līlā from Rāmāyaṇa in this regard, how Lord Rāma uh teaches this. It's very interesting.
We really have to understand our own desire first and our own nature, then only we will be able to serve. If we don't understand again I will repeat this because it's so important to drive
this point, uh if we don't understand our nature uh we don't really serve and we don't develop love.
Therefore, in the beginning of Bhagavad-gītā, Krishna says this famous verse śreyān svadharmo viguṇaḥ paradharmāt svanuṣṭhitāt svadharme nidhanaṁ śreyaḥ parado dharmo bhayāvahaḥ. Vigunah, Paradharma Svanustitah, Svadharma Nidanam Shriyah, uh Paradharma Bayavach. It's very dangerous to imitate others.
It's not beneficial, it's very dangerous if you try to imitate others, if you're not really doing what you desire, and if you're doing something else. That's what means imitation. That's actually manifestation of envy.
And uh you know th there is a very subtle difference in this regard. Uh, uh, you know, when when we're doing something which we're not supposed to do, which is not according to our nature, it's envy.
It's the manifestation of envy. We are envious of somebody else, we are envious of his success, of his position, or whatever, and we try to do what he's supposed to do instead of being happy to do what we want.
And again, we can only be real servant if we understand that our real desire is to serve. If we're only pretending to serve, uh then we're just envious. We're manifesting our envy by trying to serve.
If we don't really understand that I want to serve, that this is my desire to serve.
Sita's discussion with Lord Rama
So in this regard there, is a very interesting and instructive story. One dialogue from Rāmāyaṇa where Sītā was voted. When they were living in Dandakaranya, when they just came to Dandakaranya, then
the sages of Dandakaranya who were harassed by the demons asked Lord Rāma to protect them from this harassment. And Lord Rāma very proudly declared, you know, of course, I am here to protect you.
And he took his bow and arrow and he showed them this bow and arrow and he said, "Don't worry. You do your duty, you do what you are supposed to do.
You are sages, you're not supposed to do you're not supposed to fight with all these demons. I will take care of this rākṣasa. And Sītā she became concerned. She didn't say it immediately.
For some time she was contemplating over this concern but she was a little anxious and ultimately when she found an opportune moment she said to her tram, I want to share with you my worry which is eating up my heart.
You promised to all these sages that you will protect them, but how is it proper? We are in a forest. We're supposed to be hermits ourselves. How is it proper that you keep this bow and arrow with you?
You know you're clad in tree bark, you have matted hairs. It means you're supposed to do austerities. You're not supposed to kill anyone. Why do you need this bow and arrow? Put this bow and arrow somewhere.
You know when fourteen years will pass, you will take this bow and arrow. And she said very intelligently she said that the
last kama manifests in three way. There are three basic ways how the last or whimsical desires manifest in our heart. She says the first way is when the person speaks lies.
When you speak lies, basically it means why you're speaking lies. Uh, you want to fulfill some of your desires; you know this desire is not lawful.
And again, while speaking lies, you're depriving yourself of understanding yourselves. To understand yourself you have to be truthful. Then only you will understand your true self.
So this is one first and very gross manifestation of uh, kama. And we know, you know, that oftentimes we say lies. Why do we say lies? Because we want something, we want something which is not really proper.
proper. So then she says, of course, then another gross manifestation of lust when somebody is lusty of others' wives and has this illicit connection with other women. She says that's the second manifestation of lust.
And then there is a third manifestation of kāma when you are envious of somebody, or when you have enmity towards somebody without a reason. When you become angry at somebody without reason,
when you start punishing somebody without, you know, reciprocating to his or whatever. When you have this anger which is not really—and we know, uh, when we are lusty and our lust is suppressed, how does it manifest?
It manifests as anger. Anger without serious reason. Anger in itself is not bad, but anger without serious reason is very bad. It's detrimental.
And she says, uh, My dear Lord, Sītā devī says, My dear Lord, the first two are completely foreign to your nature. You will never speak lies, I know this for sure. You will never look at other women. That I have no doubt about.
But how is that proper that you want to punish some rākṣasas even though they may not be inimical to you? How is that proper that you want to kill all these rākṣasas and you promise
this? This is you're not supposed to do this, you know. Bharata, he's the king, let Bharata do this.
The story of the hermit's sword
You know, we're not supposed to do this. And she says, let me tell you one instructive story from the past.
She said there was one hermit in the forest and he was doing severe austerities, and he was so pure-hearted that ultimately, as is common, Lord Indra became worried. What will happen if this ascetic will become so powerful? What I will do then?
And then Lord Indra he developed a very clever trick. Lord Indra came in disguise and he came to this hermit and he said, Here is my very valuable and precious sword. Studded with, you know, jewels.
She said, I have to take care of, you know, there is a call of nature and I cannot really contaminate this precious sword by going with my sword to answer the call of nature.
You please keep this for some time. I will come back. I will soon be back.
And this hermit, you know, hesitant uh with hesitation he took this sword and he was keeping this sword and he was, you know, he has nothing to do with the sword. But he still keeps. And Indra, of course, disappeared.
And this ascetic, he looked at this sword and he wanted to try it. And he—the sword was Lord Indra's sword. It's it's a powerful sword. He cuts a tree and it works, you know. Oh very nice sword. And he cuts stone.
And the sword is so strong that it cuts the stone and then he starts cutting left and right.
And then he develops some taste for cutting and then he cuts the heads of tigers and lions and goes around and all his you know austerity went down the tube. He doesn't he doesn't know anything. He's just happy misusing his power.
What uh Sita wants to say that very subtle manifestation of kama—lust—is the misuse of, abuse of power.
When we misuse the power which we have or when we do something which is actually not according to what we're supposed to do and this is the manifestation of kama desire.
And the answer of Lord Rama is brilliant. Of course the question is brilliant itself. Sita Devi explains this whole problem which we all have for us.
And Lord Rama, he was very pleased by this story and by her concern, and he said, You're right, my dear wife, you're absolutely right. If uh somebody is misusing his power or uh you know doing something which is against his dharma, this is very bad and this is the manifestation of calm indeed.
But this is not the case of me. He said I'm a kṣatriya. And even though I'm living like a hermit, I'm still a kṣatriya. That dress which I have does not change my nature.
I will follow my nature and please don't worry about me. I will only do it uh as much as it is necessary. I will not abuse my power.
Because kṣatriya is supposed to protect other people and I will only use my power to protect other people. I will not use it otherwise. Don't worry about me. I'm I know who I am.
I will not do something which is against my nature. So the question was brilliant. The answer was also brilliant. We have our nature and the dress doesn't change our nature. We still have the nature.
We still have to act according to our nature and then only we will be able to develop our higher nature, our real nature, the nature of service.
The encounter with the demon Viradha
There is another little story from Rāmāyaṇa where again the same point is described in a beautiful way. It also happened in the same Dandakaranya forest.
That once Sītā and Rāma and Lakṣmaṇa and they were uh sitting there you know and uh conversing with each other and all of a sudden uh Sita started crying she started frantically crying and uh
they they were so absorbed in this conversation they couldn't understand what's going on and they and they uh Rāma Lakṣmaṇa looked up and they saw huge rākṣasa. This rākṣasa was huge.
Somehow rather stiltily he came uh to them and uh he grabbed Sita.
And Sītā was paralyzed by horror and Rāma was shocked and Lakṣmaṇa was shocked and this demon he was rākṣasa he was uh high as high as an elephant, huge size. And he had a trident. And there was a lion and a tiger and
four or five wolves in his trident, and he was, you know, and this trident was, you know, smeared with blood. And uh Lord Rāma asked him, who you are? Who are you? And he said, My name is Virada. It's a very telling name.
Viradha means Radha means what? Radha means love, yeah. Radha means love. The highest manifestation of love. Virada means somebody who is deprived of love. Somebody who doesn't have love in his heart.
So he says, my proudly very very proudly he says, my name is Viradha. And I am living here and I'm killing everyone left and right. And now I want to kill you. Because you are hypocrites.
This demon uh says to Lord Rāma, You're a hypocrite, you're uh you're dressed like an ascetic, you have matted hair, and you have woman with you. You're not deserved to enjoy this woman. I will enjoy this woman.
And don't worry about my size. I will bring my to the proper size to enjoy her. Don't don't worry about this. I can do this. So and uh and you have this bow and arrow and I will punish you now.
And uh uh initially uh uh yeah and Lord Rāma starts shooting uh the arrows uh in him and it doesn't work. It just doesn't work.
You know, the arrows pierce his body and then he kind of you know he uh how you say this, he tenses his muscles and all the arrows they just you know they're out of his body. He cannot do anything.
And then this Viradha he starts laughing. He says, I got a benediction that you cannot kill me by any weapon. You just cannot kill me by any weapon.
So anyway, Lord Rāma cuts his hand and another hand and still it it doesn't work without hands. He's just rushing towards them with his mouth wide open and trying to eat them.
You know, without hands uh smeared with blood, he's rushing to eat them and Cītā screaming frantically. Cītā don't touch them. Cītā in complete shock and then Lord Rāma cuts his legs.
And still, he doesn't have his hands, he doesn't have his legs, and he's just crawling and trying to eat them still. And then Lord Rāma started kicking him and kicking him and kicking and he still doesn't die.
And then ultimately Lord Rāma puts his lotus feet on his throat and he pushes his throat and all of a sudden the this demon who
was so arrogant before and he was blaspheming Lord Rāma and you know calling him names and saying this and that uh with changed voice he says, Oh thank you very much you are there is a good chance for it.
So you said thank you very much. Now I realise who I am. I am actually Gandharva.
The curse and identity of Tumburu
And it's it's a very interesting and instructive story for us. And this Gandharva, oh former Gandharva, he tells his story. He tells that I was a Gandharva, and uh I was a servant of Kuvera. My name was Tumbu.
And I was serving Kuvera. And once I was sent uh with a mission to the forest and I saw Absara Ramba. Ramba was she was actually daughter in law of Kuvera and I was overwhelmed by lust.
And I was looking at her and looking at her and I couldn't take my eyes from her. I was so you know attached to her. And therefore I came late. And Kouvera uh uh understood this.
Kuvera understood what happened and he cursed me. And he said, because please listen very carefully, because this is the uh the whole you know the teachings of this story is uh is in this explanation.
Kuvera said because you well violated the laws of God. You actually you have this envy towards God. And therefore I curse you to forget your nature.
Because you wanted to violate to break the laws of God, you will forget your nature and you will do it freely. You will manifest this propensity in your heart very freely
and you will do whatever you like and you will kill others and do whatever you like. And this Gandharva when he hears this he becomes really upset and he says,
Please forgive me, I didn't want it to do and this and that and Kuvera becomes little merciful and he says, After some time the Lord Himself will come to you and He will bring you to senses.
He will uh because of his mercy you will understand your own nature and then you will return to your uh position. So he said for all these years I was doing something you know very whimsically.
I was killing everyone left and right, and you know, I was enjoying this. I thought I was enjoying this. But now because you have come to me and you put your lotus feet on my head, uh I So
again, uh th this is a very important point that you know Lord Trump comes. What is the idea of his coming? He is teaching us dharma.
And he says if we follow dharma, we will ultimately understand in reality who we are and at the end of the day we will understand our most important desire the desire to serve, and in this way, the love will awaken in our heart.
When we don't follow our nature, when we act against our nature, there is no question of love coming to our heart.
Then we will uh ultimately we will break the laws of God because uh our nature is given to us by God and uh we will be uh going for And
the way to understand our nature is to fulfill our duties according to the laws of God and ultimately this nature will uh will be very clearly established and by clearly establishing our nature uh we will develop the service attitude and together with the service attitude we will uh develop love.
So that's that's the whole idea and the whole mission of Lord Trump to drive uh home this point that uh please act according to your nature. Understand your nature. And he shows himself what does it mean?
What does it mean to be kṣatriya? Sītā Devi shows what does it mean to be a wife? What does it mean to be woman? You know, Lakshman shows what does it mean to be a servant, to be a brother.
He shows what does it mean, Lord Trump shows what does it mean to be a son, how one has to behave. Kaikeyī is always my mother. He would never say, never even hint uh anything bad about Kaikeyī.
When anyone would tell something bad to him about Kaikeyī, he would stop this person. He said, She's my mother. And I will respect her. Always respect her.
So he's teaching us this this idea that ultimately uh we uh uh we will uh only uh in this way we will only m be able to develop the service attitude and together with service attitude we will develop love.
You know, sometimes we think um uh do I have a few minutes because it's already late. Huh? Okay. So something something little more I wanted to tell in this regard.
That sometimes without understanding who we are again the point which I want to say the whole idea of bhakti is to understand what Lord wants. But to understand what He wants, we first have to understand what we want.
To understand what we want, we have to understand who we are. And for that we have to uh uh really work hard to rectify our nature, to act according to our nature.
Distinguishing true service from codependency
And if we do if we try to serve prematurely without understanding who we are, then our service will become a pretense. In modern psychology, there is a very important concept of codependent people.
Codependent people are people who lived for a long time uh with uh other people who are dependent.
Dependent on some, you know, either psychologically are not correct, or they're dependent on some substances, drug addicts or alcoholics.
And those people who live with these people who are dependent on others they become codependent. And And one of the uh most important uh uh signs of codependency is that they always try to please others.
There's oftentimes, and according to modern psychologists, it's a psychological disorder when you're codependent.
And uh your psychological disorder manifests in a very peculiar way, you don't think about yourself, you always try to please others. And sometimes these codependent people think that we are pure devotees.
It's not. It's a psychological disorder. So please try to understand this subtle difference. These codependent people, they don't know what they want.
They only want that the other person who is so uh irrational and so cruel sometimes toward them, and you know completely mad, uh they only want to please him by all means.
And therefore they will do whatever possible just to please him without understanding what he really needs. Again, service if I do what somebody else wants and what somebody else really needs.
Service doesn't want that I fulfill the whimsical desires of others, that I become the servant of the lust of other people. And this codependency means I just want to please them by all means.
Without, just because, let them be peaceful. If they need another bottle of vodka, I will bring them a bottle of vodka. Let them be happy.
So that's what they will do, but this is not service. And the motivation is not correct. The motivation which these people have is just not to serve others, but you know, not to be disturbed themselves.
And they don't really understand what they want because they're so much uh foreign to their own nature and their own desires. So that's uh that's a great mistake.
Because sometimes I've seen it how devotees uh they trying to please others without understanding their own nature and betraying their own nature.
We can only serve others and really please others and please the Lord if we act according to our nature and if we act according to our nature then whatever we do is the service. It's ultimately the service.
And then we s then we stand strongly. If we only try to please and please and please and please others, let them be pleased, let them go to hell and be pleased.
With this attitude, let them do whatever they like, but you know, let them be little peaceful, it's not service. It's not service, it's not beneficial to us, it's not beneficial to others.
And therefore, this point of following our nature is so important because by following our nature we can understand who we are, we can understand what we want.
And uh by the dint of understanding who we are and being the wholesome person being the uh you know developing integrity in this way we will be able to understand uh the integrity of others and the real desires of others and we will be able to serve others.
And that's what Śrīla Prabhupāda. Prabhupada was not trying to please others. This is Bhaktisiddhānta Sarasvatī, Bhaktisiddhānta Sarasvatī. He definitely didn't try to please others.
He will say words which were very shocking sometimes to others. But he knew this is beneficial for other people. There is a subtle difference of trying to, you know, by all
means by hook and by crook to please others and to serve others. You know service is a very grave responsibility and to have to to really fulfill this responsibility and uh to do real service one have one has to be true to himself.
Establishing self-identity before executing service
And uh uh this is important and therefore Krishna uh doesn't start Bhagavad-gītā uh uh in speaking with Arjuna by saying, you know, Seva Karu. Who you think you are? Just do your sevā. I I will will order you do this.
No, he said please first understand who you are. First understand who you are. And then whatever you'll do, you will do correctly. If you don't understand who you are, whatever you'll do will be a mistake.
And now you don't understand who you are. Now you're completely bewildered about yourself. So we can only serve if we understand who we are. And when we understand who we are, we will understand.
Goti Bartur Pada Kamalaar Dasa Dasa Nudasa.
Naham vipro na chanara pativa shiona sudra, naham varni na chat griya patir, nawana stoyati, ba kim tu prodila paramananda pur namritad bear goti bartur padakamala her dasadasa nudasa.
So we will be able to be established in our uh real identity. If we establish our identity, if if if we know that this is important. And then by the means of establishing our identity we will be able to execute our dharma or execute our duties properly, and the love will come as a result of this.
So this is uh few thoughts which I which came to me when I was thinking about this episode, how Prabhupada was saying this. This has also happened to me. I knew the heart of my master. Why I knew the heart of my master?
Because I was servant. Why I was servant? Because I knew who I am and I knew that it's needed f that this is my nature to serve. And I was serving willingly, not because I just wanted to please by all means.
I was there's this difference. This is what I wanted to say. Thank you very much, Hare Krishna.