Midlife Crisis in Devotional Service
Бхакти Вигьяна Госвами · Лондон · 2022
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Invocation prayers and opening mantras
Oṁ ajñāna-timirāndhasya jñānāñjana-śalākayā, cakṣur unmīlitaṁ yena tasmai śrī- gurave namaḥ. Śrī-caitanya-mano-'bhīṣṭaṁ sthāpitaṁ yena bhū-tale, svayaṁ rūpaḥ kadā mahyaṁ dadāti sva-padāntikam. Vande 'haṁ
śrī-guru śrī-yuta-pada-kamalaṁ, śrī-guru vaiṣṇavāṁś ca śrī-rūpaṁ sāgrajātaṁ saha-gaṇa-raghunāthānvitaṁ sa-jīvaṁ, sādavaitaṁ sāvadhūtaṁ parijana-sahitaṁ kṛṣṇa-caitanya-devaṁ,
śrī-rādhā-kṛṣṇa-pādān saha-gaṇa-lalitā-śrī-viśākhānvitāṁś ca.
kṛṣṇa-karuṇā-sindho dīna-bandho jagat-pate, gopeśa gopikā-kānta rādhā- kānta namo ’stu te. tapta-kāñcana-gaurāṅgi rādhē vṛndāvaneśvari, vṛṣabhānu- sute devi praṇamāmi hari-priye.
kṛṣṇa-karuṇā-sindho dīna-bandho jagat-pate, gopēśa gopikā-kānta rādhā- kānta namo ’stu te. śrī-kṛṣṇa-caitanya prabhu-nityānanda, śrī-advaita gadādhara śrīvāsādi-gaura- bhakta-vṛnda. hare kṛṣṇa hare kṛṣṇa
kṛṣṇa kṛṣṇa hare hare hare rāma hare rāma rāma rāma hare hare. hare kṛṣṇa hare kṛṣṇa kṛṣṇa kṛṣṇa hare hare hare rāma hare rāma rāma rāma hare hare. hare kṛṣṇa hare kṛṣṇa kṛṣṇa kṛṣṇa hare hare, rap.
yo 'ntaḥ praviśya mama vācam imāṁ prasuptāṁ sañjīvayaty akhila-śakti-dharaḥ sva-dhāmnā dharāṁ svadhāmnānyam astya-hasta-caraṇa-śravaṇa-tvagādīn prāṇān namaḥ śrī-kṛṣṇa-caitanya-prabhu-nityānandau
rūpaṁ tasyāgrajam uru-purīṁ māthurīṁ goṣṭhavāṭīṁ rādhā-kuṇḍaṁ girivaram aho rādhikā-mādhavāśām prāpto yasya prathita-kṛpayā śrī-guruṁ taṁ nato ’smi.
Spiritual perspective on midlife crisis
svasty astu viśvasya khalaḥ prasīdatāṁ dhyāyantu bhūtāni śivaṁ mitho dhiyā manaś ca bhadraṁ bhajatād adhokṣaje āveśyatām apratihatā ya-mati-rahetukī. So again I am very happy and honored to be with all of you.
And I was asked to speak on an interesting topic and somewhat unexpected topic, midlife crisis and how to cope with it and how to reboot oneself spiritually.
Oftentimes we are of the opinion, we as devotees are of the opinion that all this crisis is we are transcendental to it.
We don't have anything to do with all this psychological rubbish which is uh only for this people who don't follow the process of devotional service.
I have bad news today. It would be good if we were really transcendental to it. In reality we're undergoing some processes and some problems are inevitable in our spiritual growth. In fact, growth means crisis.
If we were stable, if we were stale and if we were in one position all the time, then crises might not be there. But when we develop, the crisis is inevitable. And it's the crisis of development because we are changing.
The reason of crisis in, let's say, in ordinary people, and all this development of crises are very detailed, very in great detail described in different handbooks.
Is that the body changes, the mind changes while we are growing. Whereas the soul remains the same.
And the soul, which is the source of our consciousness, cannot really understand why these external changes are taking place.
We all know that you know at one point we are coming in front of the mirror and we see somebody who looks completely different than he used to look before. And we start wondering what happened. wondering what happened.
And besides that, of course, different physiological processes are taking place, and that definitely affects us. Because we are conditioned souls, our mind is affected by our body, by the changes taking place in our body.
And the soul is somewhat bewildered. The soul, which is actually — we don't know what the soul is, but there is a very strong representative of our soul: this is our ego.
What we usually call the soul, or what normal people call the soul, it's not really the soul, it's our ego, our concept of who I am.
And while we are changing our bodies, our identity has to adjust to these external changes. An identity, our ego, is a very stubborn stuff. It's not in a hurry to change.
Arjuna's identity crisis in scripture
It has a very strong structure which is difficult to change. In fact, we can see that our spiritual life, the beginning of spiritual life starts with the crisis.
This crisis is described by Krishna in the first chapter of Bhagavad-gītā.
Oftentimes people wonder why the first chapter of Bhagavad-gītā is called Bhagavad- gītā because Krishna doesn't speak anything in Bhagavad-gītā, in the first chapter of Bhagavad-gītā. He only speaks two three words.
O pārtha, just look at these Kurus who assembled here. Paśya tu. So he only starts speaking Bhagavad-gītā proper from the 11th verse of the second chapter.
Before that it was a prelude, but this prelude is very important because we Gita unless we really understand the need for His Gita unless we really understand the need for His speaking.
And this need is described graphically in the first chapter of Bhagavad-gītā where Arjuna is undergoing the identity crisis. He is foreseeing impending identity crisis.
Because his identity was the sum total of his attachments.
And all his attachments are in front of him, and he knows that he is going to lose all his attachments, all his near and dear ones, and what will happen with his identity?
His identity is the sum total of all these attachments. Attachments are not there. Mother is only mother until she has the son. If the son is not there, she is not mother anymore. Guru is only guru until he has a disciple.
If there is no disciple, you know what right do you have to call yourself a guru? You know, there is no identity as such. So we are defined in this material world by the relationship.
And when we describe ourselves, we describe ourselves in terms of relationship.
I'm such and such, I am husband of such and such lady, and you know, I am father of such and such children, and I have this position and that position.
But that's all the material identity and Arjuna was facing the prospect of losing his material identity.
And he couldn't cope with it, and very graphically and vividly it is described in Bhagavad-gītā by Sañjaya the symptoms of this crisis.
Actually, the first chapter of Bhagavad-gītā is called Arjuna Viṣāda- yoga, and the word viṣāda is quite literal Sanskrit translation of the word depression.
Because when you're depressed, you know the word depression means that you're kind of, you know, you're down. Your spirit is down, your consciousness is down, your enthusiasm is completely lost.
And vishada means exactly like this. The Sanskrit roots sad means to sit. And visada means you can only sit and nothing else. You are you're down, your spirit is down.
Vishada, we can say, in this very special way, you are depressed. So, and but interestingly now, this first chapter of Bhagavad-gītā is called Vishada Yoga, how depression can become your connecting link with the Supreme.
How the depression can connect you or make you closer, bring you closer to Supreme. That's a very interesting concept in itself. So basically that's uh Krishna
is explaining that actually crisis uh which oftentimes is coupled or combined with depression is a good thing if we turn it into yoga. Usually our depression is not yoga, it's just depression. There is no yoga added to it.
You know if you go to any psychiatrist and you ask him what is depression, he will not say oh, this is a very good spiritual practice.
But the idea which is implied by this first chapter of Bhagavad-gītā and description of the identity crisis which Arjuna undergoes right in front of our eyes is that depression can be turned into yoga if we really know how to do
Life crises as turning points
it if we really uh you know and it is explained you know what is the process how to cope up with depression, how to overcome this depression and how to reboot oneself.
So the Greek word crisis which we often use without knowing its exact meaning, means the turning point.
The crisis is this point in your life when you're making choices, when you actually change the course of your direction in life. And we all underwent a lot of crises when we are teenagers. It's a huge crisis.
And there is a lot of turmoil. And there is crisis before when we grow and then you know there is and then there is permanent crisis when we start working and it's always crisis. And of course management crisis.
Even Krishna Prabhupada is smiling very happily. You can relate to it. So but in reality we should understand that this is the turning point.
This is the point in our life when we have to make uh conscious choices and we have to consciously adjust our internal understanding to the external changes. And of course, the most radical solution to all crises
is to acquire spiritual identity because spiritual identity is not changeable you know and that's basically the solution which Krishna offers to Arjuna.
He says, unless and until you maintain your material identity, you will be in constant permanent crisis, one crisis after another, after another, because matter is not stable.
Matter is always changing, and uh you will never achieve any stable situation in this life. So the permanent solution to all the crises is to acquire spiritual identity.
And we as devotees, especially enthusiastic neophyte devotees, when we come to Krishna consciousness, we are under illusion that finally we acquired spiritual identity. Congratulations. You have not.
But the impression is there.
You know, Prabhupāda, he's speaking so strongly and he's proving so logically and so rationally that we are spirit-soul, we're not this body, and being completely convinced by his logic and by his enthusiasm
and by his own conviction in all this, we think, yeah, finally I know who I am, I am spirit soul, I'm not changeable, that's it, but just only time separates me from the from the moment when I will serve Krishna in the spiritual world.
Hare Krishna.
Intermediate identities versus pure identity
So what happens with us when we come to Krishna consciousness, we uh we definitely change our material identity but often time uh the in the process of uh you know trying to acquire spiritual identity instead we acquire
some pseudo spiritual identity and uh we basically change ourselves from the outside society to the society of devotees and uh because we don't know really what the spiritual identity? It's not so cheap.
Spiritual identity is a very high thing. And we need some identity, right?
identity, so we relinquish or more or less we say goodbye to our material identity or kind of you know we're re-evaluating our uh you know life and uh the values and everything we are reconsidering the way we live we sometimes drastically change our way of life, but because we don't yet have this svarūpa, and as Prabhupada says and in our philosophy, it said svarūpa siddhi, that's the perfection.
Ultimately, you know, when we acquire spiritual identity, that's a very high perfection, which is not again easily achieved. So in the meantime, we acquire some something in between, some mid-term identity.
And this mid-term identity is basically, you know, I'm a devotee and I'm a devotee of manner. And yes, and yes, I'm a book distributor and I'm a very good devotee, yes, and I'm such and such,
you know, I have such and such position and this and that, and you know, so many uh different things are there, but they are not really our spiritual identity, and they tend to change.
You know, today I'm a book distributor, tomorrow I may not be. You know, what to speak about temple president, it it happens, you know, today I'm a GBC, tomorrow I may not be.
You know, I remember very much, it it was very interesting. At one point I I became so fed up with all this GBC, BBC and other business.
So I wrote a letter, very strong letter, you know, please free me from all this identification and I pushed the button, I sent the letter, and the crisis came to my heart. I felt some emptiness in my heart.
I really felt, you know, and I was sometimes thinking maybe they will not accept my resignation.
So and I you know of course I I didn't take all these thoughts which were there seriously, but I could understand at this point how deep this pseudo-spiritual identity is.
How we are attached to different positions and to different uh things which are ultimately not real and have nothing to do with our spiritual identity.
And ultimately at one point they may become a very big obstacle in our spiritual journey.
Because by being somebody in the society of devotees, we tend to think that it's tantamount, it's basically equal to be somebody in uh in the entourage of Krishna, but
it's not you know I never heard that there is a GBC in the spiritual world. Maybe, you know. Then I can claim my emeritus status. I never heard about such things.
You know, and there's definitely no book distributors there because in Vraj people they probably hardly read any more books. So it's um uh what I want to say is that
our uh uh interim intermediate identity may become strong and sometimes may overshadow our aspirations to acquire proper spiritual identity.
Because we become kind of satisfied with the position we acquired, with the owners which are there, with some achievements which are there.
Which may or may not be substantial spiritual achievements in the eyes of Krishna. So we have to take this matter very seriously.
I'm sorry for spoiling your appetite by speaking about these things, but I just thought that you know maybe we should think about it.
Progression of devotional practice stages
And it's very interesting how Bhaktivinoda Thakur explains this in Prana Vivarta. He says that in our journey to pure bhakti, and initially you know we were inspired by this ideal of pure bhakti.
And we should definitely keep this inspiration intact. We should always come back to this initial inspiration and not allow all this material stuff to overshadow or even completely eclipse this ideal of pure bhakti.
Thakur, Thakur, he says practically exactly in terms of what I just said that in the beginning when by mercy of a devotee we acquire some śraddhā. But we cannot really relate to Krishna.
We cannot really understand the transcendental nature of Krishna, the transcendental nature of the spiritual world. So, what we do, we reflect our material understanding into the spiritual life.
And we don't have anything to anything else, we only have material understanding and material experience which we have. So uh and uh we start doing bhajanakriya, we start doing some sort of devotional service,
but while doing this devotional service, we uh more or less ascribe to the activities we which we are used to do anyway, the name of devotional service.
So this initial period of devotional service, according to the philosophical Rūpa Gosvāmī, or sorry, Śrīla Jīva Gosvāmī, it's called āropa-सिद्ध-bhakti.
Āropa-सिद्ध-bhakti means that you just name something as bhakti, which is not necessarily bhakti, but you know you you do something which you anyway do, which you used to do, but you say this is my service, this is my service, whereas by nature it may not be service
and you may not even have the proper mood, a service mood, but you name it. Arop means superimposition. So you superimpose the notion or the concept of bhakti on something which you do, which is good.
It's a good starting point. There's nothing bad in it. You know, we have to start somewhere. And this is where we're starting usually. We continue doing what we're doing, what we're good at it.
And of course we become a little more selective in what we're doing.
You know, we are, uh, Bhaktivinoda Ṭhākura explains that, uh, being a devotee, we understand that you know you you cannot offer to Krishna something which is despicable. You cannot offer to Krishna something obnoxious. You cannot offer meat to Krishna or whatever. But you offer to Krishna something which is nice, the best of what you can do.
But you offer something still material you offer it to Krishna and that gives you some impetus and some enthusiasm. You know, like we all know that we offer to Krishna pizza. Which is not necessarily a favorite of Krishna.
But why do we offer it to him? Because first of all, we're not really sure what Krishna likes, what Krishna doesn't like. And because we like pizza, we think that Krishna also likes pizza.
Because he's supposed to be like me. So we offer to Krishna something which we like. Because of a simple reason. Because we don't know what really Krishna likes.
Therefore, we are doing something good and we offer it to Krishna and that's good. I mean, again, please don't take me wrong. It's a very good beginning thing.
But then it's very interesting that Bhaktivinoda Ṭhākura explains that to at one point of your devotional journey, of your devotional career, through this process of āropa-siddha-bhakti, through this practice of āropa-siddha-bhakti, Bhakti, you will inevitably ask yourself what Krishna really likes.
And whether what I am doing and offering to him, in my, you know, from the generosity of my heart, you know, I am offering to him, please take it.
You know, we should ask ourselves, uh, is it really what Krishna wants me to do? Is it really the best I can do for Krishna?
Yes, for the time being, for some time, in this particular time and place and circumstances, it may be the best what I can do.
But you will feel some sort of calling that maybe there is something else which you should do at this moment of time. And when this calling will be there, very clearly there, you will have some doubts. And that's a crisis.
Because you were happy of doing what you are doing, and you know how to do it, what you were doing. But internally you feel that that Krishna wants something else from you. And you feel that you are kind of torn apart.
You know, and moreover, what is what makes it even more complicated is that there is a popular demand. People are already, you know, used to your role which you acquired in your years of devotional service.
And even if you attempt to give it up, they will say, no, no, no, how will we do without you? Please continue doing what you're doing. No, don't do it. Don't give it up. You know, I'm sharing my experience with you.
Sometimes painful experience, because that's the, that's the problem which we have being in the society of devotees. What I want to say is that while being in the society
of devotees, we start playing a certain role which again is not necessarily the role which we will play in the spiritual world.
Of course, in this, we are very prudent, we are very conservative, we don't really speak about our spiritual identity. But I mean, somewhere in the remote corner of our heart we should think about it.
Ultimately, we will have to stand in front of Krishna and serve him in a very favorable to him way. And that's, that's what we should, we should somehow rather, you know, We should have this ambition.
At least somewhere in our heart, this ambition should be there.
So we should not be satisfied with—Bhaktivinoda Ṭhākura, he coined this term in a very interesting way, because bhajana-kriyā, he doesn't call this stage of our way because Bhajanakriya he doesn't call this stage of our spiritual development as bhajana, because it's not bhajana.
It's bhajana kriya. Externally you're doing some bhajana.
Externally you're worshiping the deity, externally you're chanting the holy name, but you don't have the internal connection with what you're doing really on a deeper level.
So and therefore uh Bhaktivinoda Ṭhākura called it bhajana-ābhāsa, which means the shadow of bhajana. And Bhaktisiddhānta Sarasvatī, he coined another term which is even more how to say this, denigrating,
or I don't know, not denigrating, but he termed the term anartha-nivṛtti. We proudly say that we are doing sadhana.
Bhaktivinoda Ṭhākura says, no, Bhaktisiddhānta Ṭhākura says no, you're doing sādhana- kriya, you just imitate sādhana. Some sort of imitation is there, some element of imitation uh is there,
not the whole heart is there uh of ours and uh not really understanding the nuances and subtleties of our spiritual interaction with Krishna, not even understanding that Krishna's holy name and Krishna are not different from each other.
And that's the very minimum requirement to start bhajana, real bhajana. So again, you know, I'm not, you know, I just feel that just by giving this lecture I put you into depression. Perhaps premature.
That's not the purpose.
Experiencing internal spiritual difficulties
The purpose is to explain the dynamic of spiritual life and the natural process of spiritual life. It's actually good news. We are doing the process where we have given
a lot of chances, and Srila Prabhupada gave us this mission, and we can use our energy and intelligence in a very productive way in doing all this stuff.
But at the same time, we shouldn't forget that there may be even on the royal road there are some pitfalls.
Devotional service is a very direct road to Krishna, but there may be some pitfalls there, and we should not be surprised or discouraged when we meet with this sort of impediments on our path.
Because we may experience this, and again I'm sharing my own experience, we may encounter certain emotional situations which manifest like you know great dissatisfaction was with what we're doing.
Complete insecurity, the feeling that God abandoned us, the feeling that there is something wrong in this world, and you know, and we are kind of start even quarreling with God.
Śivarāma Svāmī Mahārāja in his book, not Journey Home but Journey within. Second book he describes this.
He describes this crisis which sometimes happen with people when when they when they even happen with devotees, when they start quarreling with Krishna, when they start saying Krishna, Krishna, why you're doing this to me? You know?
Why you're so cruel to me? Why did it happen to me? You know, and this feeling of abandonment is again natural in these situations. You know, Jesus Christ felt that he was abandoned. You know, he was crying.
You know, oh my father, why did you abandon me? And his spiritual level was quite high. Why did you forsake me, my dear father? So it may happen to us. And the reason is that perhaps that we're doing something wrong.
The reason is that not really even wrong, but that Krishna expects something more from us, which may not be necessarily the same thing but more.
You know sometimes when we hear do something more we you know we think that we should do the same but more. But more means do something different.
More means do something with more conscious understanding of what you are doing, what is what is it relationship with ultimately with your ultimate goal with Krishna and everything.
So more means do something with more heart placed in what you're doing. So that's the crisis, and you know, of course, I'm not really describing the midlife crisis.
This kind of crisis may happen with devotee anytime, but it may coincide with midlife crisis.
Aging and re-evaluating spiritual purpose
Because midlife crisis means that you know it's it's a stage when in your life when you start feeling that your body is going down, down, down, down. It's deteriorating.
You know, for some time you thought that nothing will happen with your body. Your body is, you know, it's for many years. Recently I was with one Maharaj in one house and he's getting old as all of us.
That's uh that's kind of solacing because you're not alone. If you would be alone, you know that would be very depressing, but everyone is getting old. So he's a little older than myself, and he was climbing the staircase,
and he was really kind of struggling climbing the staircase. And then in the middle of staircase, he turned back to me and he said somehow or other I thought that it will never happen to me. I don't know why.
So this is this is what we're thinking. You know, it will never happen to me. It, it will. Believe it or not. It will happen.
And the midlife crisis is this situation when we start feeling that you know the life is going down, down, down, down, and it's inevitable course. And you also feel that you didn't fulfill something,
you're not fulfilled, you're not really doing what you're supposed to do.
And why did I say that the spiritual crisis which I described before sometimes coincides with this midlife crisis is because as devotees for the time being we are satisfied with what we are doing.
We're trying our best, we're serving, you know, we're we have our concept of service, and you know, we're being constantly approved by the society of devotees in doing what we're doing.
But at one point this thought may come out, am I doing you know, am I fulfilled? Am I really fulfilling my purpose, my my mission? I doing what I'm supposed to do?
Am I using my complete potential in Krishna or am I really investing my heart in the chanting of the Holy name. And Bhaktivinoda Ṭhākura, that was a little diversion from the point which I made.
He said that the beginning part of our spiritual journey is always ārūḍha-bhakti, where you do some activity which you ascribe Dabhakti, where you do some activity which you ascribe as devotional service and which is approved, is bona fide. It has some connection with service as such.
It definitely connects with hearing, śravaṇaṁ kīrtanam viṣṇoḥ, smaraṇaṁ pāda-sevanam.
But But you're still not doing it in a very proper way because you're not really uh investing your consciousness in transcendence, you're really, you still, uh, your consciousness is still more or less in this plane of material existence.
And uh At one point when we feel that there are some inevitable changes in our body, we may ask our questions, am I really prepared to the to the new stage of my life? Am I really prepared to go to the spiritual realm?
Am I really prepared to dedicate myself fully to the service or I still have some hopes and some aspirations to be which I want to achieve here. And how valuable they are. They may be, you know, they may be valuable.
You know, sometimes devotees say, you know, I don't want to go to spiritual world, I want to preach here.
It may sound very good, but it may also betray some sort of problem which people have because again of some sort of unfulfilled mission as a devotee.
You know, we're used to what we're doing and we enjoy what we're doing. And it's nice, it's fun. You know, I definitely enjoy my life as a devotee.
Today I was in Dunduman's house and his son Timur asked me, is it hard to be to be a guru? You know, I was very pleased because obviously he thinks maybe he will become apoint. And I told him, no, it's not hard, it's fun.
There's a lot of a lot of downside, but ultimately it's fun because it's it's nice. But really we shouldn't forget that we have
come here because we were attracted with this ideal of pure devotional service, which means the devotional service in the mood of inhabitants of Vraj, which means complete wholehearted dedication to Krishna and not just to an abstract Krishna.
Like, uh, once I asked Radhanath Maharaj about one former big leader in our movement who left and who kind of started his own movement. And I asked him, you know, what's his practice, what's his belief.
He said he believes in Krishna, but I'm not sure in which Krishna he believes. So what kind of Krishna he believes in. So, yes, we may believe in Krishna, no doubt about it.
But there are many Krishna and our ideal is to reach Krishna in Vraj, Vrajakrishna. Our goal is not just some Krishna. You know, there are so many concepts of Krishna.
But the highest concept of Krishna is Krishna who doesn't even remember that He is God. He remembers that He is Krishna, but it has nothing to do with being God.
He's he's so immersed in this loving pastimes with his devotees that he he doesn't want to remember. If you remind him that he is God, you will spoil his life.
So nobody tries to remind him about this in Vraj. Nobody dares to remind him that he is God. If you happen to be in Vraj and you will see Krishna and you say, oh Krishna, you're God, you know, you will be expelled from Vraj in this very moment because you are out of place.
You are not really, you know, you're not really fulfilling the your obligation, your mood.
So you know we have to be prepared for this point in our life when all these questions will start surfacing us and we should not really try to uh you know kind of uh try to get rid of these questions. These are real questions.
Vedic rituals for life transitions
And uh uh at this point we should uh we should understand that uh there is some transition. Again, what is crisis? Crisis is the turning point or transition.
I will because the topic of my lecture was supposed to be how to overcome this crisis, and I only described the crisis, and it would be unfair if I just described the crisis and describe the means or the way how to go beyond it, so I will say a few words about it.
In vediculture, it's very interesting. The way in vediculture, how the people in Vedic culture dealt with these transitions. Because everyone has to pass through these inevitable transitions.
So to help us to pass through these transitions, through these periods, to adjust to the new situation, to the new body, to the new mental makeup which we may have and basically new new life.
You know, in the Vedic culture they have saṁskāras to each sensitive point junction point in our life.
And saṁskāras is a special special rites which are there to help us to transit, to help us to go from one stage to another stage to another stage.
There even in modern psychology they're called they're called how they're called one second not transition rites they're called something different. Rites of passage. Yeah, rites of passage. Yeah. Thank you then Christian.
Yeah they are called rites of passage. Exactly with the same concept that you have to go from one period of life where you are relatively stable, you are in the same mindset with the same surroundings and this and that.
And then all of a sudden something starts changing.
And to make this smooth transition, the saṁskāras are helpful because saṁskāras is usually what is the idea of saṁskāra? You know besides the mechanics of saṁskāra which work in a very early age, but in a more mature age when your consciousness is developed, the samskaras are supposed to focus your consciousness on this particular transition which you're undergoing.
Like in marriage, you know, vivāha-saṁskāra. You know, there is a lot of, uh... it's a very interesting rite if you do it properly. You know, of course I don't know if uh somebody is doing it properly but
if you read all the mantras which, uh, the bridegroom and bride are supposed to chant during vivāha-saṁskāra, it's really focusing their consciousness into the new way of life, completely changing their consciousness through this process.
And you know, and therefore it's so long, you know, the marriage ceremony in India it's just enormously long and tiring.
But basically again all these rites are there to really give you the idea of what your new identity should be, how you should behave, what you're supposed to do now.
And of course, when it comes to, you know, and nowadays we are living in a society which kind of abandoned all these rituals and and condemned these rituals and say this is all just, you know, useless.
And we are kind of following the same suit, and our rituals become less and less elaborate. Whereas the elaborate ritual is actually necessary to to change, to adjust your mind to the new situation.
Like in India, for example, there is still, it's practiced in Karnataka and some other states, there is still ritual which is called ṣaṣṭy-abda-pūrti.
When you become 60 years old, you're supposed to go through this ritual, and it means ṣaṣṭy-abda-pūrti means the pacification of your 60 years old,
you know, because your mind becomes agitated, you know, because you notice that your body's becoming cold, and ṣaṣṭy-abda-pūrti is this ritual which helps you to transit to the next stage of your life smoothly and understand what the changes are, what you're supposed to do.
And of course, in ISKCON we don't have such elaborate rituals, you know, like when I gave up my GBC responsibility, nobody made a special saṁskāra, you know. Special fires would be good.
It would really, you know, it it would really make you feel good. You know, when and of course when you know when when Temple President
is kicked out, nobody makes a special saṁskāra for him. They just say you're out and the new one is on bowl.
Importance of community support during crisis
Whereas again, the proper culture would be to have a special ceremony, elaborate ceremony, and help the person and actually support him, emotionally support him in all ways, in his new life, in his new, you know, new life and new responsibilities which he is taking can help him uh so that's one thing which is there, you know, the some emotional support should be there,
and it's actually very good if this emotional support is coming not from one person, not only from the close relatives, but if it's coming from the community.
When we see that somebody is going through this crisis, this sort of emotional support coming from the community would be would be of tremendous help.
You know, because you should actually congratulate such person because uh what uh what is the problem with the person?
He feels that he is losing something, he's losing his capacity of doing something, he's losing losing his capacity of being a productive member of this community, this and that.
But if the community comes together and congratulates him and says, now you have greater responsibility. Now you have to share your your experience.
Now you have to do this and this and you know to give him the sense of his new identity. That it's very important for us as a community to have you in this capacity. Thank you very much for everything you have done.
That's very nice and very fine. But now you have greater responsibility. Doing something which none of us can do because you are more senior in age and you're more senior.
This is one way of dealing with this very important way, which is relevant to us who are trying to build this spiritual community.
And of course, the most important way which Krishna explains to Arjuna is to have Arjuna has overcome has overcome his spiritual crisis by just by listening to Krishna, by opening his heart to Krishna.
What is most important in this moment of time, when this crisis comes, and it will come, sooner or later in our lives is to be open-hearted. It's not to try to hide all these problems.
Because what happened and again, I've seen how some people unsuccessfully passed through this crisis because they didn't have uh you know somebody whom they trusted and they tried to hide this crisis,
you know, it's when the identity is changing and you're used to certain sort of identity. And you feel that when you change this identity, you feel internally that uh it's a humiliation. You feel ashamed.
You know, I'm not capable of doing this anymore.
And how people will look at me and they will you know and they will and and you you try to hide uh these problems which are there and you try to again imitate you know the way you were living before and try to do this. Why?
Because first of all, you know you m you very much dependent on the opinion of people and most and foremost you don't have anyone whom you trust and who can tell you very openly, that's very good.
My dear friend, or my dear disciple, or whatever, it's very good. This is new your new life.
You have to adopt this new life, you you have to take this new life and you have to go with this new life and uh what you will be able to do here is very, very important for you and for everyone else.
And this is what you try to do, or at least try to you know to achieve in the next stage of your life.
It's very important to be open to such an advice, to such people who are understandable and who are senior and who can really take you by hand and bring you to the next stage of your life.
And explain to you what is your mission. That's exactly what Krishna is doing in case of Arjuna.
He's saying, you know, this is this is this is what you're supposed to do. Please don't be afraid of losing this old identity. Don't be too much hang up about this.
you know you are you're a good man, you do whatever you're supposed to do and I agree with you. So you know in in either way at this moment of time the most important thing is the support.
Support of relevant seniors, support of the community, support of our close people,
of our you know like I I was a witness of one very tragic event when one very big leader in our society went through this tremendous crisis and there was nobody next to him who could who could help him and everyone you know people either were demanding that who would you know again become the same person as he was, and he was not capable of doing this, or were condemning him and saying you know how bad he is and this and that.
And it was very tragic. There was no support. And sometimes our society with its black and white ideas and black and white understandings of spiritual life tend to be very cruel.
When we impose some demands uh upon people, uh very strict demands and and all kinds of stuff. You know instead of being this very supportive community, we become very very, cruel and uh not really
understanding what's going on and how uh how important it is for people to go through these crises. So the crises are there, they're good. You know, like one psychologist, he put it very nicely.
He said, you know, when the when there is a crisis, uh you have cracks, you know, but there is a light coming through these cracks. So your ego is cracking. There's so many cracks. But the light is coming through it.
You know, we have to understand that you know it's it's there we should be real.
Attaining pure devotion through conviction
And what again, coming back to Bhaktivinoda Ṭhākura, I still I'm always diverting from this point. Junction in my in my talk.
He says that actually the real turning point from āropa-siddhi-bhakti to saṅga-siddhi-bhakti and then to to svarūpa-siddhi-bhakti, the real bhakti is, is niṣṭhā.
So the when, in the beginning, all these preliminary stages, uh we are doing some āropa-siddhi-bhakti, and at one point saṅga-siddhi-bhakti after anartha-nivṛtti, anartha-nivṛtti, really saṅga-siddhi-bhakti. I mean I I don't have time to explain all these technical terms, but Sangha Siddha Bhakti basically means that you're doing something which is not really bhakti, but which you think is very helpful for your bhakti.
And it is helpful in one sense. You're stressing some renunciation or this or that. So we are going through this point.
But when the real turning point comes, the chance, the possibility is there to achieve the svarūpa-siddhi-bhakti. The Bhakti in a very real sense. The bhakti, which is by its very form, is devotional service.
It's full of love and devotion. So that should be our aspiration, and we have all the opportunities for this, but we sh have to understand the dynamic of it and it's actually a very beautiful dynamic.
But it may be you know sometimes uh little painful and difficult but we should uh knowing this in advance we should understand that something very good is awaiting for me after going through this mm things.
The main point is of course to be in the society of devotees, to take support of devotees, to really take shelter in the association of devotees and by taking shelter in the association of devotees we'll will feel protected.
And then ultimately the last crisis will come when we will be you know in our deathbed and uh the devotees will will chant kīrtana at that time and will be there with us.
You know recently I was with Buddhijayan Prabhu and he told me about Guṇagrāhi Mahārāja, how he was passing away. And he told a story about his passage, passage right.
He said that Guṇagrāhi Mahārāja was always he was kind of he was afraid that when the time of his last moment will come, he will be alone, and he will not be able to chant the holy name.
And I think he had some sort fear, I don't remember exactly how he described this. But anyway, so Buddhijayan Prabhu says how Kṛṣṇa fulfilled all his desires. He was concerned with this.
He said that when he was passing away. It's a very interesting event.
You know, the whole, you know, probably 120 devotees came from all over Vṛndāvana and they were chanting kīrtana. And he was not conscious, he was in coma.
And his fear was that he will not be able to remember the holy name at the time of death, which is a very legitimate fear. And we all you know should be conscious of this. But so he was unconscious.
Not only unconscious, he was under very high dosage of morphine because the pain uh was too high and even morphine didn't work and you know so he was he was agonizing and uh you know on the the drug and uh he was not conscious.
And the devotees they they had very strong kīrtana and then they noticed some signs that the time of his soul leaving the body is approaching.
And at that moment Bhakti Brīṅga Govinda Mahārāja came and started very loudly chanting Hare Kṛṣṇa Mahā-mantra in his on his ear, on his right ear. And at this moment the miracle happened.
You know, all of a sudden Maharaj opened his eyes and visibly started moving uh his lips uh uh pronouncing Hare Kṛṣṇa Hare Kṛṣṇa Kṛṣṇa Kṛṣṇa Hare Hare Hare Rāma Hare Rāma Rāma Rāma Hare Hare.
And the doctor was present there, the doctor who was taking care of it, and he said, it's impossible. It's impossible. At this moment of time, in this condition, it's not possible.
By any you know medical science which I know it's not possible, but but I've seen it. And uh Buddhijayan Prabhu said that you know everyone felt very strong spiritual presence at that time you know because uh
yeah, because of this sincere desire of uh Gunagrahi Maharaj himself and because of the support which he had from all the people around him.
So that's uh that's what it is and that's basically my little talk how to overcome this crisis.
For that we need to depend on devotees in a real sense. We need to have very real relationship with devotees and uh depend on them. And basically we're dependent on them, we are completely dependent on them.
Nothing else we can do on our own.
We are tiny little souls and we should serve devotees and uh love devotees and ultimately Krishna will be pleased with our sincere endeavors to serve other devotees and he will help us to pass through all these difficult stages.
Thank you very much, Hare Krishna. Somebody has any questions. Um, if you want, you know, you please, you are you are the hostess. Host. Does anyone have any question?
Questions on overcoming personal crisis
Yes.
Um so so Maharaj as we are going through a devotional journey, you are incrementally but I I was hoping that we incrementally progress in whether we are distributing books or whether we are performing a GT as a as a GPC or temple president or whatever satana kriya even we are doing, we're incrementally progressing.
And so should we see crisis as an opportunity to make step changes. Of course.
And change our progressing, but then there there will be points where where the change, you know, the incremental changes at one point will become you know significant change. Will bring us to the point when we will have to make the drastic change.
So if it was all about incremental changes, there would not be such a problem. But in reality the incremental changes bring about some drastic changes, and drastic changes are painful.
But unfortunately they're inevitable and actually it's it's it's good. It's it's it's good. It's good.
Is it true or is it accurate to say that the stages of the ashram system uh repres— Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. But there are stages in between as well. You know.
Yeah, this four major stages they are definitely very important.
There are stages before, before you become brahmacārī, there are so many saṁskāras in the childhood which are supposed to facilitate your transition from one stage to another and to develop certain structure within your subtle body. You know, all these saṁskārs they are it's a very scientific method of developing certain structures or certain capacities within your mental body and physical body as well.
Like when you take the first grain or with you take, you know, or jātakarma, saṁskāra even, you know, you take some golden spoon with little, you know, honey and ghee it's very important uh yeah
and yeah this four stages yes definitely very important but you know the science of varṇāśrama, varṇāśrama is a science, this this is a forgotten science of varṇāśrama unfortunately.
It's such a beautiful scientific process which really helps uh people to overcome all these problems in a very beautiful way, but and it's not there.
So does one have to admit that he is in crisis or without admitting can anyone else help that person in crisis? You know everyone can see that you are in crisis. You think that you're hiding it, but everyone sees it.
But if you're not admitting, people will shy, will hesitate. If you don't have anyone who's close to you.
Because at this point of your life you're very vulnerable and you're very you know you're very vulnerable. You're really kind of unprotected. And um sometimes it feels it feels a little, you know, s little scary to admit.
Especially if you were in a big position. You know, you were in a big position and everyone was, you know, adoring you and worshiping you, and all of a sudden you're weak.
You know, and uh and you know well so what what will you do with this? How you will do this?
And and you don't have anyone who is near you who is kind of peer or senior to you and you're a big leader and you're there and you experience difficulty. You know.
And you know some people as I said they they continue expecting and this expectations are unbearable for you.
You know, they expect that you behave the way you behaved all the way through, and they they can't really understand and they say something is wrong.
And then they say when when you don't behave the way they expect you to behave they say he has gone crazy, he's nuts. You know. Very kind. Very considerate. And
other people they say no no he has always been a pretender, you know, I always knew that he's like this, now he's revealing his real skin and yeah this is this is the society.
Society is maybe a very very helpful thing but oftentimes it's a very cruel stuff. In that situation when someone is not opening up, how do we help? Can we just pray and leave it to himself? Praying. Praying is good.
Praying is good. You can just come to him and you know say you know some few nice words. That also helps.
You know, you may not go deeper into probe deeper into his problem, but just a few encouraging words maybe may be enough.
You know, because at that moment of time what is the most fearful is that people are fearing that they will be rejected by the society because they're not fulfilling the role which they used to play.
And this rejection is very, very difficult and very dangerous. So that's what it is. So this you know the this the mood, the proper mood is
that you know we have to become when the society is mature, when the community is mature, this mood of acceptance of other people is very important. We accept them.
You know, he's he's a member of our family, extended family, and uh, you know, he has always been the member of our extended family.
And that this feeling of acceptance uh itself gives some security and gives some, you know, some strengths also to overcome all these problems. Okay. I hope I didn't depress you. Again, thank you for your attention.
Hare Krishna.