Principles of Education
Bhakti Vijnana Goswami · Vrindavan · 2019
Chapters
Invocation prayers
Oma Gyanasi, Gyanam djana, Sala Cayam, Shaksu Mitamina, Pasma e Shri Gura Vena.
Sriče Namano, Bishta, Stopi tam je na Budal, Swa Mrupa, Damia, Lada Swapadantikamande Sri Guru Sri Yudapadakamalam, Sri Guru Vaisnavam Cha S6ru Sgrachatam,
Savahna Vita, Sadwitam Sadhutam, Paridana Sahitam, Krishna Chaitanya Devan, Sri Radha Krishna Pada.
Savanamalita, sriaka Vitamsha, E Krishna Karna, Sindho, Deenamandu jagat patate Pikakanta, pradakantamast, taptakanchana, Rade Vrindavaneshware Vishavanu Sudevi Pranamami Haripre
Vanchapataru Vyaschat Kripa si ducha, patitama ne bioch, vaisnai bynawama, dai shri krishna Chaitanya, Brabitananda, Shriadvaitara, Shribassani Bura
Bhta Brindh, Hare Vishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare
Rama Ramarehale Ajanu Lambi Bujokana Pavadata, Sankirtanaya Kapitaroka Malaya Daksha, Vishwambaru Vijayaro Yubadharma P I'm
very happy to be with all of you today and it's a big honor for me to open your teacher training session. So I will say a few words about the importance of training children and The specialties of this particular service.
Three factors influencing life
I want to start with Let's say unorthodox or unusual quote. The quote which I want to bring first is the quote from Brihat Parashara Hora Shastra, which is a Jyotish book.
And in the Brihatparashra Hora Shastra, at the end of it, the question is raised: what is influencing our life?
We all know the concept of karma, that previous life and usually the understanding is that it's quite strongly predetermined whatever is there.
And therefore the whole science of Jyotish is there, how to predict the events of your life and so many other things according to the time of your birth.
So, but Parasharamuni, who is supposed to be the author of this scripture, he gives very unusual answer to this question. What influences the life of a person?
He says that actually there are three factors which are equally important as far as the life history or life events of a particular person is concerned. And astrology or the position of the stars is only one factor.
It is an important factor because our karma, whatever we did in our previous life, is important, no doubt about it. But there are two, but you cannot really influence this too much.
You can put some ring on your finger, but whether it will work or not, it's doubtful. So, what is done is done. You cannot really change it. But there are two more important factors over which we all have influence.
The next important factor is of course our association. And we know the power of association.
Lord Caitanya Mahāprabhu, uh, when he was asked how you define Vaiṣṇava, he says, uh, uh, what was asat-saṅga-tyāga? Yeah, he just, that's, that's a very interesting definition.
Because uh definitely uh our association is within our power. We can choose with whom we associate. And basically if we want to be Vaishnava, we have to relinquish or reject the bad association.
And of course, the modern psychologists they study this subject matter very deeply, and they say that practically any association with anyone influences you. Power of association, you cannot underestimate.
Of course, the extent of influence may be different. You may be more greatly influenced or less depending on your openness and depending on your relationship with a particular person.
But the fact remains that any association leaves some trace in your consciousness. And if it's bad association, the trace, the some saṁskāra will be bad.
And if it's good association, the influence will be good, and people can very drastically change because of association. So, of course, that's a separate, very big topic.
How to associate, you know, and we all know even Rūpa Gosvāmī in his Upadeśāmṛta Speaks about the art of association, how to maximize the positive effects of association, to open your heart, to welcome other people.
I'm not going to speak so much about this, but of course, association is a very big topic because especially what is important, the influential figures in our life, association with them is very much important.
And of course, teachers are very influential in the lives of children. I will leave it aside for the time being.
Importance of early formative years
I may come back to this topic a little later, but I wanted to first state the third factor which is most important for our today's talk.
Parasra Muni says that the third factor which has great influence upon our life, upon our psyche, upon everything basically is the early formative years.
He puts it aside because it's a separate extremely influential factor, and it's not entirely predestined or programmed, so to speak.
So the science which is behind this, and Prabhupada, he uh always said that Krishna consciousness is a science. It's not just religion, it's not just a you know dogmatic blind belief system.
The science behind this is that, of course, we all know to a certain extent
is that little children, they're very, very vulnerable. They're very much susceptible to the influences of other people, and therefore the samskaras of the early formative years, approximately up to the age of seven, are the most important as far as the life of this particular person is concerned.
So naturally as teachers we have to understand very much the science behind it.
And Vedic culture put a lot of emphasis in this early formative years of child's life because the sages, the founders of Vedic culture, they knew that at that period of
our life, the samskaras which are there, the impressions which are there, can go very deep. Why these three factors are so important as far as our life is concerned,
because they all uh it's all about samskaras, it's all about mental impressions. Who is, what is a human being? Human being is nothing but a bundle of samskaras.
Samskaras are programming us, samskaras are constituting our qualities and everything else, our reactions, this neural machine which we have. It's programmable.
And our past karma is a particular script which is there recorded in our mind. Association which we have influences all these programs and modifies these programs because of the neuroplasticity you know the mind the brain is very uh you know susceptible it's very uh pliable so to speak.
And of course, the early years, early years, it's probably the most important factor.
Actually, early years, I would dare to say that early years is even more influential and contributes more to formation of our nature or of our psyche than even our past karma.
Because again, as I said, when the ego of a child is not very well formed, he's very much open to the external influences, the influences of the environment.
Scientific purpose of samskaras
And therefore, as I said, the sages who were behind Vedic culture were very careful and this whole period of human life is basically because it's very important.
There was this as Prabhupada translated it, purificatory ceremonies or saṁskāras. You know, they're not accidentally called saṁskāras.
Saṁskāras is subliminal impressions, impressions in our mind, some psychological footprints, so to speak, of the influences which we have.
And all these ceremonies which the child is supposed to go through also leave a very good positive impressions. Therefore, Prabhupada translates the word saṁskāra as a purificatory ceremony.
It's something which purifies your consciousness.
And it's uh it's extremely scientifically designed, starting with of course Garbhādhāna saṁskāra and then you know all the saṁskāras during the pregnancy because already at that time uh the little child is already conscious and already you can influence him.
Whatever mother experiences during her pregnancy period is very important.
Whatever music she hears, whatever bad news she gets or good news, she gets whatever emotional state she is in. It all influences the psyche of the child.
But that's again, put this aside, that's important, but not that important for our uh today's topic. But for our today's topic, what is most important is that what's happening with the child when he's born.
And uh definitely the main task of the teacher is to leave good impressions.
And again, as I said, Prabhupada, not without reason calls the saṁskāras purificatory ceremonies because the good impressions in the psyche of the child can neutralize or even completely eradicate the bad impressions which are there.
You may be not a very good person from your past life karma. You may commit some sinful activities, and we all commit some sinful activities, some negative influences are there. Everyone has some negative influences.
But that can be greatly improved by the good impressions which can be easily implied or implanted even in the psyche of the child when he is very small.
So that's important in itself to understand how to do this, that's another question.
Impressions in Srimad Bhagavatam
But before speaking about this, I wanted to say that the subject matter of saṁskāras is greatly important, so much so that this is a topic of Mahāpurāṇa.
As we know, Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam is Mahāpurāṇa, and there are 10 topics of Mahāpurāṇa, and one of the topics is ūtī. And ūtī means the impetus for action. So, what is actually impetus for action?
It's saṁskāras, it's nothing but saṁskāras. So, what I want to say is that even you know śāstra, Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam in particular puts a great emphasis on this particular topic because
whether the person will grow up as a Prahlāda or he will grow up as Hiraṇyakaśipu. Kashipu. You know, it's all possibilities are there.
When he's a young child, he he may grow up as a criminal, or he may grow up as a saint. And it's all basically depends on his early years, of course, past karma and association during the lifetime.
But in particular, this early years. So this ūtī is nothing but these subliminal saṁskāras. And if a person has good saṁskāras, his whole life will be good.
His contribution to humanity and to culture of the humankind will be good and he will be happy.
And if he has bad saṁskāras, he will act badly, he will suffer because of his bad actions, and he will create sufferings around himself.
He will be miserable himself and he will put everyone who is around him into miseries. So again, this is to stress this particular point.
Saṁskāras are very important and the responsibility of a teacher is that again it's very easy to put bad samskaras and it's very easy to put good samskaras in the child's mind.
And sometimes we are not really conscious about this, how easy it is.
Because unfortunately, we always judge others according to our own understanding. But we don't understand how vulnerable little child is and how influential even even little word which you say how much influence it can have.
So you may say for you it's nothing. Always or often parents do this mistake,
they quarrel with each other, and for them it's nothing because they're grown up, they're quite protected, they have this, you know, thick ego around themselves.
And the little child he is witnessing it, and for him it's uh it's such a tremendous influence upon him, such a negative influence. You know, the mother and the father are there, you know, fighting with each other.
But they're not suffering. Who is suffering? The little child is suffering.
He will get this program, he will get these negative saṁskāras, he will get all this, you know, all these negative emotions, and this negative emotions will be stored for tens of years in himself.
And he will not even understand how all this thing will influence his life. So, what I want to say is that it's such a great responsibility. And because it's such a great and grave responsibility,
it may have a very positive effect on us and it may have a very negative effect on us. Prabhupāda says this very clearly in one of the purports in the story of Dhruva Maharaj, where he says that, you know.
He speaks particularly about Dhruva, how Dhruva goes back home, back to Godhead. And he says about himself: he says, even if one of my students goes back home, back to Godhead. He may take me.
You know, Prabhupāda is very humble, he says, He may take me. But the point is very clear.
If we do something good for the child, and the child will become a saint, it will definitely have a very good influence upon us. No doubt about it.
We will get a lot of positive karma and positive influence and credit, pious credit or spiritual credit, if we create some positive saṁskāras in the child. And vice versa. And the chances are very big for this vice versa.
You know, if we create some negative saṁskāras in the child's life, which will negatively influence his psyche, his mind, and his qualities, the responsibility will come upon us.
This little child will create, when he will grow up, he will create a lot of havoc around himself, he will create a lot of sufferings. And we are responsible for this. It's coming for us.
And we don't know how responsible we are because again of the great influence. You know, the little word which we say, for us it's not such a great influence. Because again, we are more protected.
For child, it may have such a great influence.
The child may hate Krishna because the teacher will say something bad to him and it will not be digested to him properly. And it will basically create very bad impressions upon him.
Therefore, uh the responsibility is grave. In other words, you can achieve a lot by being a teacher. But the achievement may be both positive and negative as well. And we have to be very conscious about this.
I'm speaking on my own experience because I know, you know, for me, I say something, you know, the person uh and I don't take it so seriously, but because of my position in the mind of this person, because of my position, it has such a tremendous influence upon him.
It's like this, you know, you take a little pebble. And you throw a little pebble, and you know it may create a little something. But if you go to the tenth store and you throw this little pebble
from the tenth store, uh Because of the speed, the influence that this pebble can crack your skull because it's uh it's thrown from this height. So in the same way, you know, you are in this
pedestal, in the consciousness of a person, of a little child. And you say some word, and for you, it's just a small word, small pebble. But because it comes from such a height, you know, it has much more influence.
And we have to be really, really careful about this. How influential we may be and how this influence may be good and bad as well. Despite our intentions. Our intentions may be good.
Still, we may create some havoc or some harm to a child who is vulnerable and who is not really mature and who is very susceptible to all these influences. So, what to do in this regard and what not to do, may I have.
Story of cinema and parental respect
I want to tell you a little story which I I really like. This story was told to me by By Ayurvedic doctor in Vrindavan Liladar Gupta. He's a good doctor. His father was even better doctor, Naratam Gupta.
Prabhupada used to go to Naratam Gupta. Naratam Gupta had a special medicine for malaria. And Prabhupada, because while he was living in Vrindavan, he several times had malaria, so he would come to Naratam Gupta to get his special medicine.
But Liladargupta told me a very interesting story once. He said to me that he was brought up in this very traditional Indian family, very conservative. And he was not allowed any nonsense in his childhood.
So much so that he was not even allowed to see the cinema. He never went to cinema in his whole life, childhood, and even you know when he became a teenager.
So when he went to his Ayurvedic college in Jaipur, the first thing he wanted to do, to go to cinema. Because naturally, you know the forbidden fruit is always very sweet. So that's the first thing which he wanted to do.
And his father was very strict, this Ayurvedic doctor Naratam was very, very strict. And he went to cinema when he got the first chance. And he was, you know, kind of very happy about this.
He was happy to enjoy this cinema. He said, when I when the light was turned off and it became dark, and then you know the screen was lit and the movie started. He said approximately 30 seconds after the movie started,
I said, to my great surprise, I saw a huge picture of my father on the screen. Of course, it was not on the screen, it was on the screen of his mind. He saw a huge picture of his father's face,
and the father was looking at him with such a compassion and at the same time quite sternly was looking at him.
So he was looking in the movie but he couldn't see what's going on in the movie. He could only see his father's face.
And he said after 10 minutes of suffering in the cinema hall, I went away and I never went to a movie again. Not even once. So the purport of this story is very interesting.
He said he wanted to go beyond the limits which were put, quite strong limits which his father put around him, he couldn't do it. Why he couldn't do it? Not because his father was so strict.
If his father was only strict, I think he would happily do it. He would be probably even more happy just because he's doing something which his father doesn't like.
Balancing discipline with unconditional love
But he couldn't do it only because the influence of his father, the respect towards his father was so great that he couldn't even in the absence of his father, he couldn't go beyond the limits which his father put around him because of the respect which he had, because of the love which he had.
So, what I want to say here, and this is of course a very difficult subject matter, uh, is that there are two uh um two things which the teacher has to do.
He has to discipline this child. He has to put the fence around him. He has to say, this is good, this is bad, you shouldn't do this. But if you only do this, it's not going to work.
You know, even though we may say disciple means discipline, and we may stress and emphasize discipline is so important, no doubt about this. Discipline is very important.
Strictness is important, especially when we deal with you know people with children who are growing up like after five, six, seven. Discipline is very important.
But more important than discipline, much more important than discipline, is the acceptance.
Why Lila Dhar Gupta couldn't go beyond the limits which were put by his father because you know the father was such a such a great part of his personality.
His father accepted him, and because of this acceptance, unconditional acceptance, unconditional love for whatever it is, he just He just could not betray his father.
If his father was only disciplining him, it wouldn't work. It would have a completely opposite effect.
So what I want to say is these two factors which may seem contradictory, they're not actually contradictory, they're working uh together. Uh, and the first you have to accept the person and then you have to discipline him.
If you try to discipline him without accepting him, you only create havoc in your own life and in the life of this particular person, however small or big he is. I again speak from my experience.
You know as a spiritual master I have sometimes to discipline my disciples. And I know how difficult it is.
And the trick is that if you first you have to accept the disciple completely in your heart, then only you can discipline him. Then only it will work. If you start or try to discipline somebody without really accepting him, without really giving him complete support and being his well-wisher and everything else, you can only harm the person by disciplining him.
Because again, he will reject, you know, whatever good things you will tell him, he will reject it. And by rejecting the good advice which you give to him, he will reject this good advice.
He will never be able to digest this good advice. He will never be able to follow it. So by disciplining somebody without accepting him, you're creating more harm to him. Because he will do contrary.
He will behave in a contrary manner.
Correction through nonviolent connection
Because it's a sort of violence. What I want to say is that there is this, I don't know if you learned it here or not, this concept of non-violent communication.
And in this non-violent communication, it's very clearly said what constitutes violent communication. And any violence is violence.
And violence means you create harm to a person, you create pain to a And sooner or later this pain will come back to you, according to the law of karma. karma.
And violence basically means you're trying to correct somebody without making this person a part of you. You can, you have to correct somebody.
But the art of correcting somebody is first you have to make him a part of you, inseparable part of you. Then only you can correct him. If you try to correct him from outside, it's a violence. And it doesn't bring any good.
It doesn't bring ultimately, you know, out of fear or some other motivation the person may adopt some attitude which may be pleasing to you, but it it will not be beneficial for this particular person, it will not be beneficial in the long run, and ultimately he will not learn anything.
He will only be out of fear. He will adopt certain behavior which is, you know, which is acceptable. But ultimately he will not learn anything. He will not he will not get any positive influence.
So what I want to say, and and in this particular story, little story which I told, little anecdote which I told, the secret of the story is, you know, Lila Darguta wanted to reject the strictness.
But the strictness which came with love, and love he couldn't reject, and therefore he had to accept the strictness and discipline. So the love goes first, the discipline goes second.
And discipline without love is harmful. And love without discipline is also harmful. So both things should be there. Both discipline and love should be there, but love goes first. Not discipline.
Not first discipline and then love. No, that doesn't work. First love and then discipline. And again, as I said, it's extremely important because you know as teachers we don't know how influential we are.
We don't really understand the scale of the influence which we have over little children's child psychology, psyche. So, and therefore we have to be double careful.
And it's better to make a mistake on the side of more love, then you know of course the balance should be there, but you know, if you make some little mistake on the side of love, it's okay.
But if you're not loving and trying to discipline, uh, it's very bad. It's very bad for you. It's really bad for you.
Avoiding cruelty in child protection
And it's definitely very bad for these children and for their future, for their you know formation as productive adults. So when I was driving here I remembered and I asked Nirmal Krishna about this that
this gurukula is in the place where Aghaṣūra in the area where Aghaṣūra was killed. And I think it's symbolic because according
to Bhaktivinoda Ṭhākura, Aghaṣūra represents cruelty. In particular, cruelty towards our near and dear ones.
So much so that Bhaktivinoda Ṭhākura even says domestic violence and all this kind of stuff, when we are violent towards those who are dependent on us, those who are weaker than us.
And we all know that Aghaṣūra, he swallowed these little children. So please don't play the role of Aghaṣūra because otherwise Krishna will have to kill you.
You know there is many little children and you have all the opportunity to swallow them.
But if you do it, Krishna will not be pleased because this is Krishna's children. This is the children which Krishna gave to you under your protection.
So not without a reason this Agasura was killed because again this is cruelty. And cruelty or heart-heartedness. Unfortunately, it's there, we are prone to it.
When we get the position of influence, when we get the position of authority,
there is a very big temptation and this temptation is to create violence, to go beyond the borders and to create violence, to create some pain, unnecessary pain. It's a temptation, and we're all human beings.
The heir is human. We all have this frail consciousness, frail heart. So it's very important not to get into this trap because it's a trap. It's a trap for us. It's a very big trap for us.
Sometimes even people with all these inclinations or tendencies, they go because they know that they can control these little children. But it's it's very careful.
And I think not without a reason Krishna put Guru Kul in this area. It's a reminder for all of you. I'm here, I'm watching, and you know Agasura can be very easily suffocated.
If if this tendency is there, what what it means, it basically means that this tendency to be cruel towards those who are weak is there in our heart, in everyone's heart, unfortunately. It's there.
And we have to be very careful and we have to watch very, you know attentively uh and not to let this tendency grow within our heart. And for that of course we ourselves need good association.
We ourselves need this loving touch. We ourselves need to feel that we are unconditionally accepted by somebody. Because you cannot really translate or transfer transmit this acceptance unless you experience it yourself.
So it's very important and therefore it's so important how you associate with each other. How you are you know what vibrations you emanate and And uh it's all important.
And when it comes to children, because the influence is so great, uh there is no uh unimportant details. Everything is important.
Because again, even a small detail may have such a tremendous influence upon somebody's life, both positive and negative. Therefore, my only request, my you know, I bow down to all of you because you're so bold and so so you know it's the responsibility is so grave.
But please try to do this responsibility as nicely as possible, and then the benefit will be also very profound for everyone. Because we're all connected.
And even if you create one saintly child, the saintly child can save the whole world, the whole country. And definitely you. Just one child is good enough. But if you create many saintly children, that will be very good.
And yeah uh what what can I say uh and perhaps little little more I will say uh on a little different topic. Discipline is very important.
I was speaking about good saṁskāras, and uh you know definitely we have to quite consciously leave the good impressions in children's lives so that they will, you know, if these impressions will be there, they will be protected.
If they feel this love, unconditional love, they will be protected and they will be able to give protection to other people.
Developing intelligence through discipline
But a little side topic which I also wanted to mention about this is that besides discipline there is this free will. So I wanted to say a little bit about this balance between the discipline and free will of a person.
Discipline is there to develop the consciousness, to develop intelligence, to develop buddhi, to develop the discriminative faculty in our mind. Buddhi is the ability to discriminate. This is good, this is bad.
buddhi is the ability to see what the ultimate benefit it will bring. Sometimes in the modern psychology it's called emotional intelligence.
There is this famous experiment about the emotional intelligence when the children were given some candies and were left alone.
And the condition was that if you don't eat this candy for half an hour, you are alone, you can do whatever you like. You can eat, you cannot eat.
But if you don't eat this candy, you will get another candy after half an hour. But if you eat, then that's it.
So, so it's the tension between śreyas and preyas. In Kaṭha Upaniṣad there is these two things. Preyas is immediately pleasing and uh śreyas is the ultimate good or you know some benefit which you will get in the future.
So, but the interesting feature of this experiment that these children were given, and you know, some some children were more intelligent and some children were less intelligent.
Some children ate it immediately, some children wait for 15 minutes and ate after that, some children didn't eat and got another candy.
But the pr uh the interesting result is that then all these children they were followed throughout their life.
And those children who were capable of waiting for 30 minutes without eating the candy, they were more successful in all the areas of their life.
In family life and relationship and everything else, you know, they were achievers. Whereas those who fall prey to this temptation, they were failures in the life.
So we really have to understand that by developing buddhi, by applying discipline, we're trying to develop buddhi or intelligence. Discipline is not for the sake of discipline.
Discipline is not for the sake of the comfort of the teacher. Of course it's much easier to deal with children who are disciplined. But no, discipline is not for this.
Discipline is to develop buddhi, to develop this discriminative faculty, or emotional intelligence, as they say, or the ability to control the mind. And therefore, really real discipline is not possible without freedom.
You cannot really help the little children to develop
their buddhi without giving them freedom. If you only, you know, strictly disciplining, disciplining, disciplining them without giving them some space where they can uh you know act freely and see what they can do, what they should do, what they shouldn't do. It's not really possible to develop Buddhi.
So what I want to say is that it's extremely important to discipline, but it's also extremely important to give some freedom to children. So that they make choice.
And of course, as a teacher, you definitely are capable of rewarding the good choice which they do. And in this way, training them in a good training their good intelligence.
Granting freedom according to age
But ultimately again this notion of freedom: you know the children will not be able to develop properly unless they feel some certain amount of freedom which is there. Free choice and this and that.
And the more grown up they are, the more freedom they should be given. Of course, Chanaki Pandithi gives this formula that till the 5 years old the child should be treated as a king, then he should be
till 15 years old he should be treated as a slave and till the from 15 onwards he should be treated as a friend. But I will dare to say that if you treat a teenager as a slave, I
don't think you will he will be your friend when he reaches 15 So it's uh it's a very fine balance.
You know what I want to say is that you know the the freedom should be given proportionately to the development of intelligence.
To develop intelligence, one has to have very clear understanding, this is good, this is bad. But at the same time, you know, gradually, gradually, you will you you should trust children more and more and more.
And if you cannot trust them, this is your fault. This is not their fault. It's actually it's some mistake in you if uh they are already teenagers and you you cannot trust them.
Something is wrong uh in in the process, some mistake was there in the process. So this is uh some little thing which some uh little addition which I wanted to say. I guess that's it. I that's probably enough.
If you have some questions I will be happy to answer. Yes.
You said something very, very, uh very, very enriching that until we make someone insepar until we make someone inseparable from us, uh any any action of discipline is is volant.
So I just want to understand what does it mean to make someone inseparable from you and how do we practically do it? See, your child is a part of you, right? Your child is not separate from you. He's a part of your ego.
He's a part of your you know and that that's what love means. Love means unity. Unity means internal unity. You are united with somebody internally. You're not separable.
And actually, this particular A variation of form of love which makes you inseparable from the person is called pranaya.
Rūpa Gosvāmī gives a very particular word to this sort of relationship when you are completely so close to the person. But it it basically it it's it's certain work of your heart when you really take seriously somebody else and take him within.
How practically do it?
I mean if you there are different methods of doing it, but if you meditate on the person, if you meditate on his welfare, Krishna will give you the ability to understand and Krishna will help you to take him inside.
So it's basically a question of close relationship, and when we enter into this close relationship with somebody they become a part of us and the relationship will be different from this point on.
In Sanskrit or in using Rūpa Gosvāmī's terminology, it's called mamatā. Mamatā means the sense of belonging. He belongs to me. Mamatha. He is mine. He's a part of me.
And this mamatā is important because Śrīla Rūpa Gosvāmī says, mamatā prema-saṅgata, there is no love without mamatā.
But how it develops, it develops, the love develops through service, you start serving this particular person. You see this child or children as the object of your service, and if you serve them, the mamatā will develop.
Inevitably. You know, it's a known phenomenon. If mother has five children and one of this one child is very sick, she loves more. The most sick one. Why? Because she served him more.
She was serving him, she was, you know, spending so many sleepless nights for him, and therefore the mamatā is stronger. Why? Because she served more.
Emotional mechanism of samskaras
So this development of this sense of possessiveness or sense of belonging, it's developed through through the service, through service attitude. Yes. Unless you spoke about saṁskāra. Yes.
Can you just a little bit more elaborate what is exactly saṁskāra?
Um saṁskāra is it's the impression uh which is uh it's a deep impression uh in your memory or in your mind, which is also there and translated into the you know structure of the brain. It may be Okay,
I will say a few words about this. When we do something, we act externally, but at the same time it leaves some experience, we experience something.
And uh the depths of the and therefore any action leaves some uh footprint, some trace in our mind in our, consciousness, in our memory.
Now the depths of this memory, of this impression, will be more or less depending on the emotional content of this experience.
If you experience something and you're really happy about this, then it will be recorded in your hard drive with this positive emotional tag and the recording will be very deep.
If you experience the same but, there's not so much excitement in yourself, not so much emotional thing. Then the experience the saṁsāra will not be so deep. The same way with the negative emotions.
And again, it's emotions, emotions is not necessarily proportionate to the experience itself.
The experience may be, you know, the experience is experienced, but different people will have different emotional reactions on this.
So the deeper is emotional reaction, the deeper is saṁskāra, the deeper is the memory, the more influential it is upon our personality, so to speak.
So, therefore, because children are so emotional, and their emotions are, you know, positive and negative emotions, they are not so rational, so to speak.
Therefore, the samskaras which are left their impressions, the memories which are there in the childhood, they're very deep. So there is another way to make some impression deep.
If you repeat the same thing again and again and again, then the impression will also become deep. And that's why, for example, we repeat the same spiritual practice again and again and again.
Usually we don't have so much excitement about spiritual practice. Nobody is really, you know, very excited immediately.
But if you repeat it again and again and again, that it will leave very deep impression and ultimately it will form you, your personality.
And as Krishna says, you know, whatever impressions you will remember at the time of death will determine your future. And he uses particularly the word bhāva.
Bhāva means, as we know, bhāva means the state of being, and bhāva means emotion also. So again, the saṁskāra is emotionally colored memory.
Because if the memory is not colored emotionally, it doesn't live very deep saṁskāra and it's not influences you. Therefore, when we do saṁskāra, the idea is to create certain emotional response in a person.
Like sometimes, you know, in Iskon we do this, you know, initiation ceremony. It's supposed to be some saṁskāra, but it's so boring. It's not really some saṁskāra. It doesn't live, you know.
But if you go through the real Vedic sacrifice, it's quite exciting. It really leaves a very deep impression and it's uh uh it's a very interesting experience if you go through the whole thing.
Cultivating love through pure association
So again, saṁskāra is the emotionally colored memory which is which is influencing our personality and which becomes a part of our personality either present or future personality.
Maharaj, as you said that love should be the first thing before the seeking. So how can we increase our loving propensity? Maybe can become you know more students more children.
You associate with people who are loving. That's where the association comes. We learn, especially these things like love, we only learn by association.
You can listen to many good lectures about love, but it doesn't change your propensity, doesn't change your heart.
But just five minutes of associating with a person who is loving himself will have a great influence upon you and and you will understand yeah that's oh now I know what it means.
So it's only a question of association there is no other way. Maharaj like when we in the course of service and there is like chance of uh becoming attached or possessive.
If you want if you are serving somebody, so uh there is a chance that we can attach because the city so how we maintain the balance that we don't become attached because when we become attached we do the disservice instead of service. don't become attached because we when we become attached to we do the disservice instead of service.
That's true. Attachment, the sign of attachment is Is when you expect something in return for yourself. You're doing something and then you expect. That's attachment.
If you do something as a service and if you're happy by doing this service, that's not attachment. That's the proper action. So therefore, the attachment only comes when we really develop this nature of always expecting something in return.
Therefore, this is the first lesson of Krishna in Bhagavad-gītā. Don't expect anything in return. Don't do your actions with the expectations of the results.
So to guard internally against disattachments is basically to guard against expectations. I don't expect anything. This is actually a very good attitude which can make you happy. I don't expect anything.
If something good happens, fine. If something bad happens, you know what to do. So and that's again that's training. We should train our mind.
As much as our mind now is trained to always expect something in return, to always expect some result, this and that. You know, we should train and Krishna will help us to. He always helps.
We are not always grateful for his help. He's a very good teacher, so he will give you chances, you know, not to be attached.
So but if if you understand it on the level of intelligence and you act accordingly, and you watch your own reaction. Your instinctive reaction will be different because it's already there.
It's already, you know, this conditioned nature, selfish nature is already there.
But we still, you know, we still can modify it with the intelligence and again associating with people who are not attached, who are who are loving but not attached is very important.
Because it's a fact, oftentimes people they they mistake love for attachment and attachment for love. But as we know, it's completely different things, like iron and gold. Attachment is iron. Attachment is a chain.
Uh and uh love makes somebody free. So there is no magic. It's a hard learning process.
Practicing loving discipline in institutions
Yeah, yeah.
The story of uh Vilasa Rahutta that you told was such a IOP group was always had this question that when our boys they pass out from here or when they go home during vacation, where they don't follow the discipline taught here.
So it's because you said that discipline without love is not so effective, is harmful.
So now my question is mad like it is a little bit something that in our setup because it's an institutional setup we have around two fifty students. So how do we actually combine both the things together?
Because we have to also maintain some discipline when boys stay here, they have to get up at certain time, follow a schedule They don't want to do it internally. So how do we do that with love and how do we do this?
If I knew it, I would become Guru, teacher. The fact that that they didn't become speaks for itself.
First of all, I would say that you should always you should not, uh, you should always explain to them why you're doing this. They should understand this. That it's not just you know just to make them feel bad.
It's ultimately why it's good. Because this why question develops the intelligence, you know. And if they understand, so they they should understand why for what, what is the reason.
If you only apply if you don't respect them as free human beings and only apply discipline, then it will not be so good.
And of course, love is a very high word and it's a very high demand, but at least respect should be there.
And respect basically means that you respect him as a free human being, and you want to help this free human being by making him little less free. But still, he has to feel that it's it's to help me.
So just, you know, apply to their intelligence, explain to this, but also ultimately, you know, if they, first of all, if they see that you follow the same discipline, that's of course definitely very great influence.
And you know if they see some hypocrisy, they will immediately detect the hypocrisy. Children are very sensitive. They will immediately detect the hypocrisy.
And second of all, you know, just explain to them and you know why, or ask them to speak why it is good. Ask them to share some good experiences which they have.
That means respect because you're not only putting your opinion up front, but also asking their opinion. And you know, and this way you help them to develop their intelligence.
So even within the institutional setup, you still can do a lot, I would say, if the attitude is proper. That's my service. That's very important service.
Comparing life factors and association
It can influence very much upon myself first of all, and should do, I think I should leave
your okay how much weigh is how much weightage is given to the three factors the three factors which are affecting our life in terms of percentage. Uh he didn't say this uh and I would say that uh it really depends.
I don't think there is a fixed formula for this. But you know for some people it's past karma is the most influential. For those people who have very elevating association, association may be the main factor.
And definitely the early years is a very important factor to everyone. So it it really depends. It depends on case to case. I don't think there is a formula.
But what I mean to say is that the more importance we give to this association and early formative years, the more importance it will have.
If we consciously understand how important it is and how influential it is and how it changes people's life then it will play uh the major role.
In the societies where people are not so conscious, like in Vedic society people were very conscious about this. And therefore, they were not so much into the vicious circle of karma.
The idea of Vedic culture was to change karma, to change the impetus, to create good human beings. In the societies where they don't understand this science, perhaps karma is more influential.
So the more conscious we are, the more understanding we are about the influence of these factors the more role it will play in humans' life. Okay. If he is uh maybe uh three factors you should be told on the negative side.
all three factors no, there is no way, there is no chance. But if he consciously will choose or if he will have good association, Association is very powerful. Association is an overriding factor.
So, but if all three factors, if one has bad karma, that's not so bad. Even if one has bad experience during childhood, it's not so bad. But if one has bad association, that's very bad.
So the association is the most crucial factor, actually because it influences you throughout the life and therefore we have to be very very conscious and conscientious when it comes to association.
So okay. Thank you very much. Thank you, Hare Kṛṣṇa.