Bhagavad-gita 3.34. Emotional Intelligence
Bhakti Vijnana Goswami · Hyderabad · 2019
Chapters
Ancient wisdom and modern science
Thank you very much for being so enthusiastic. And uh anyway I'll try to speak a little bit on Bhagavad-gītā and I hope it will be of some use. Uh rather Prāṇa Prabhu asked me to speak on the topic
of emotional intelligence, which is a very relevant topic and very Krishna conscious topic in fact. Even though in the modern world people started using this term emotional intelligence in 80s.
Before that, they only thought that intelligence or intellect is the main factor which defines the happiness of a human being, the overall success in life.
But as it is commonly happens uh all these uh new quote unquote so called new discoveries of the modern science are actually uh known to people of Bharat of India and they were very beautifully, much more beautifully described in the scriptures of India, and in fact, yesterday I was talking about how all these modern discoveries are all there in Bhagavad-gītā.
My whole life I was more or less trying to prove and to find the correlation between the words of ancient Vedic wisdom and the modern achievements of the science.
And I will speak about emotional intelligence because emotional intelligence is nothing but an ability to understand one's emotion and to control one's emotion, to manage one's emotion.
And according to the modern science, modern psychology, modern management science, it is emotional intelligence which defines the overall success of a human being.
You may be very intelligent, but your life will be miserable and you will destroy yourself and everyone else despite your so-called intellect.
Your IQ may be very, very high, and despite of this, you will not achieve anything. Why? Because you're very low on emotional intelligence, meaning that you don't know what's happening within your heart.
What are the impetuses which drives you? What is the real force which is behind everything which you are doing?
And usually when people don't understand what's happening with them, they don't understand what's happening with other people. They don't have any empathy.
Spiritual necessity of emotional intelligence
They don't understand exactly what are the emotions of other people and therefore they're emotionally blind or deaf, and therefore they cannot relate properly with other people, they cannot establish proper relationship, and therefore they're miserable in their life.
And ultimately, for Krishna conscious people emotional intelligence is very important because we want to understand our own emotions, we want to develop our emotions in relationship to God, and we want to understand his emotions.
Because without understanding his emotions, what he feels, and how he feels, we will never be able to enter into this realm which is called Bhava Jagat.
Our material world is called Jada Jagat, which is the world of dull matter. But the spiritual world is called Bhava Jagat, the world of emotions. So without having very high emotional intelligence, EQ.
You will never be able to go to this bhava jagat, the world of emotions. No way, no chance. So we have to develop this emotional intelligence not only for our own success
in life, which is also a good byproduct of Krishna consciousness. It's a good thing, we don't deny it.
But there's ultimate purpose of developing this emotional intelligence and empathy, which is the highest ability in human beings. Our ability to understand what other people feel is the pinnacle of all other abilities.
We may have many other talents, but if we are lacking this talent, which is difficult talent, if we are lacking this ability to understand how other people feel, all our achievements will not be very impressive.
And even Krishna, in the sixth chapter of Bhagavad-gītā, very amazingly he says that the highest of the yogis is only those yogis who can feel what other people feel, who can understand that other people have feelings and they can respect their feelings and relate to their feelings.
And there are many, many verses in Bhagavad-gītā itself which describe emotional intelligence, the ability to control our emotions, the ability to understand the emotions of other people, and the highest ability to understand Krishna.
Because what is emotional intelligence? Emotional intelligence is nothing but ability to understand other people and to communicate.
And if we see on the highest possible example of this emotional intelligence, the highest possible score of emotional intelligence, you know it's Rādhārāṇī, she possesses the highest emotional intelligence.
Everyone else is just a little tiny spark of her.
Why she is considered the best of the devotees because she is the best among the devotees who can read the heart of God and who can serve his emotions, who can reciprocate with his emotions.
And we are following Śrīmatī Rādhārāṇī. We are supposed to be her followers, especially Gauḍīya Vaiṣṇavas, followers of Caitanya Mahāprabhu who came, you know, Krishna himself was wondering how she can do this, how she can understand and reflect my emotions so perfectly and reciprocate with my emotions and serve me.
Because ultimately you know this is emotional intelligence facilitates the emotional exchange between the people. And in this way feel the happiness.
And what is emotional intelligence in the ultimate sense is my ability to be happy with the happiness of Krishna.
This empathy, the ability to feel what other people are feeling, it reaches the highest possible degree when we feel what Krishna feels. And because Krishna is always happy, we become happy. It's a simple formula.
We want to become happy. What is the formula to become happy? Is to feel what Krishna feels, and he always feels happiness. So when we feel what he feels, we also become happy. And this is our recipe for happiness.
And as I said, there are many, many verses in Bhagavad-gītā. Even though the modern psychologists are very proud, you know, we discovered this emotional intelligence.
This is such a nonsense, you know. They didn't discover emotional intelligence.
Introduction to Bhagavad-gita verse
Krishna created us as emotional beings for a specific purpose, for ultimately to become happy by reciprocating with him. That's the ultimate purpose of human life to be able to reciprocate or to reflect Krishna's emotions.
But I was a little puzzled by choosing which words to choose to speak on. And I decided ultimately to speak on a very basic verse
on this topic, which is the 34th verse of the third chapter of Bhagavad-gītā, and I will explain why. I thought that it is more appropriate because this verse explains the mechanisms of this emotional intelligence.
What is behind this emotional intelligence? What is behind this ability to understand emotions and to relate to emotions and so on and so forth.
And moreover, this verse also contains a very important lesson for us or very important instruction how to develop emotional intelligence. What is the good news?
And of course, this is a very basic foundation of Krishna consciousness, is that we can develop our emotional intelligence.
And the whole sadhana which we do is in fact geared at this purpose to make us more emotionally fit,
to make us more emotionally developed to develop the emotional side of our nature in a good sense not in a bad sense. So that's a little introduction to this topic and I will with your permission read the verse put forward by A. C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupāda and try to explain You know what is behind it. Okay. Okay.
Hindriyasyam Driasya, indriasya arte, driasate, raga, dvs, vjavasti Agach agach to he asya parippantito Paripant I forget to chant the mantras onam vada vateva sudevaya, on amo bagabate, vassudevaya, sudevaya, on amo bagabate Narayanamaskritya skritya, n'a narottamam, seva rabatam, devim sasvatiasam, devim sasvatiasam, tatujana mudiraya, This is also the way to somehow rather tune into the emotions properly when we chant mantras. That's one way. Anyway, this verse uh Indriya sandriyasarte indriya sandriasarte indriasandriasarte indriya sandriyas te Ragadvesha samasti, Ragadves Yavastih, Ragades, Tayorna Vasam Hagachet, Tayona Vasamaga, Tayorna Vasam Agachet, Tayona Vasamagach, Toh yesya Paripantino, tohyasya paripantino, indriasy nriyasyarte Ragadves Vyavasti, Tayornava Samagache, Tayornavache, Tohasya Paripantin Indriasya of the senses of the senses Indriasya In the sense objects objects Radha Attachment Vesho also detachment Vyavasti put under regulation Tayo of them Na never Vasam control Agacha one should come one should come to those certainly asya his paripandhino stumbling blocks.
Stumbling blocks.
Reading the commentary by Prabhupada
Śrīla Prabhupāda gives a very unique interpretation of this verse. So I will read it. There are principles to regulate attachment and aversion pertaining to the senses and their objects.
One should not come under the control of such attachments and aversion because they are stumbling blocks on the path of self-realization.
A. C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupāda. Those who are in Krishna consciousness and naturally reluctant to engage in material sense gratification.
But those who are in such consciousness, who are not in such consciousness, should follow the rules and regulations of the revealed scriptures. Unrestricted sense enjoyment is the cause of material engagement.
But one who follows the rules and regulations of revealed scriptures does not become entangled by the sense objects.
For example, sense enjoyment is a necessary, is a necessity for the conditioned soul, and sex enjoyment is allowed under the license of marriage ties.
According to scriptural injunctions, one is forbidden to engage in sex relationship with any women other than one's wife.
All other women are to be considered as one's mother, but in spite of such injunctions, a man is still inclined to have sex relationship with other women.
These propensities are to be cured, cured, curved. Otherwise, they are stumbling blocks on the path of self-realization.
As long as the material body is there, the necessities of the material body are allowed, but under rules and regulations, and yet we should not rely upon the control of such allowances.
One has to follow the rules and regulations unattached to them because practice of sense gratification under regulations may also lead
one to go astray as much as there is always a chance of an accident, even on the royal roads. Although they may be very carefully maintained. No one can guarantee that there will be no danger, even on the safest road.
The sense enjoyment spirit has been current a very long, long time owing to material association, therefore, in spite of regulated sense enjoyment, there is every chance of falling down, therefore, any attachment to regulated sense enjoyment must also be avoided by all means.
But attachment to Krishna consciousness or acting always in the loving service of Krishna detaches one from all kinds of sensory activities.
Therefore, no one should try to be detached from Krishna consciousness at any stage of life.
The whole purpose of detachment from all kinds of sense attachments is ultimately to become situated on the platform of Krishna consciousness. Āge ki?
There are principles to regulate attachment and aversion pertaining the senses and their objects.
One should not come under the control of such attachments of aversion because there are stumbling blocks in the path of self-realization.
śrīmatī bhaktivedānta svāmi-nāmine namaste sarasvati gaura-vāṇī-pracāriṇī nirviśeṣa-śūnyavādi-pāścātya-deśa-tāriṇī vāñchā-kalpatarubhyaḥ kṛpā-sindhubhya eva ca patitānāṃ pāvanebhyo vaiṣṇavebhyo namo namaḥ
yoga, snew na moha, J Sri Krishna Chaitanya Prabhupunitananda, Sri Dvaita Bedatharasivas di Pura Bhakta Vita, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna, Krishna, Krishna Hare Hai, Hare Rama Hare Rama
Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna, Mahama Ramay, Krishna Krishna Krishna Krishna,am R, ajambiokana kavada, sam kirpanaika bit roka malaya taksa,
viswambaruya budharma palavande, chakatriya karamava,
Scriptural regulations for true happiness
Bhagavad Ghapisha. So in brief this whole third chapter of Bhagavad Gita is very important as one of the foundational or beginning chapters of Bhagavad Gita. But Krishna basically gives a very good news to us.
The whole message of Krishna in this chapter is that, my dear children, you can be happy in this world, don't worry. Don't listen to all this Hare Krishna people who say we cannot be happy in this world.
Krishna is very clear here. He said you can be happy, you know. He said Pratapati created the you know the Lord created all the living beings and He said, be hated, just enjoying this life.
But there is a very important but to this, as usual. No. It's unfortunately not without any conditions. Krishna says that you can be happy, you should be happy.
I created this world in a specific way so that everyone would be happy, no problem. But for this you have to follow certain regulations. For this you have to follow basically the scriptures, the Vedic scriptures.
Vedic regulate Vedic scriptures regulate your life and they give the very fundamental principles of how to live in this world to be happy. Ultimately, this is the purpose of all very scriptures.
Sometimes people ask, why I cannot do this, why I cannot do this, why I cannot do that, you know, can I can I do this? You know, especially people ask, can I eat chocolate?
Chocolate is somehow rather a big stumbling block on the password. You can. No problem. You can do whatever you like. You're free. But you will not be happy, that's the problem.
So Krishna says: please avoid something which will ultimately not bring you happiness.
And all the regulations of scriptures, all the prohibitions is it's not just some you know very tyrannic and very you know backward sort of rules to to really make us slaves. No. This is all the rules which are regulating our nature.
The problem with the human being is that we have too much brain substance. That's the biggest problem of a human being. You know, animals don't have any problems, they live according to their nature.
The only species of life which create troubles and problems for everyone and for himself, including, is the human being. No other species of life creates so many problems.
Nobody there there is no cats who are depressed. They're all happy. You know, it's only a human being becomes depressed. And so on and so forth. There are so many problems in the human species of life. Why?
Because we have too much brain substance. And this brain substance is given to us for a specific purpose to achieve God.
But at the same time, it gives us the facility to misuse our intelligence, to act against our nature, not to follow our nature, not to feel what is there.
The lower species of life, they have very acute feeling, they know what to do, and they never deviate from their nature.
But human beings all the time, human beings all the time deviate from their nature, all the time violate their nature.
And therefore scriptures are there to explain how you should live, to follow your nature, to ultimately achieve the success in life. Ultimately Krishna wants us to see us successful in life. Ultimate success is there.
And ultimate success is to achieve happiness in this world and the happiness is in the next world. And for this, scriptures are there and we should follow them.
And at the end of this third chapter, Krishna is analyzing why human beings cannot follow the scripture, why it is so difficult to follow the scriptures, why the difficulties are there, even though it's natural.
Not eating meat is natural. If you don't eat meat for some time, you develop a natural aversion to very, you know, how the meat looks. You know, there is this restaurant which is somehow rather called Green Tree.
I don't know why it's called Green Tree, it's on the ground floor here. And there is this chicken, you know. It looks horrible.
It's it's the you know real part of chicken. You know, the part was from which the you know the stool is coming up. And people are eating this part and enjoy. It's totally unnatural. It's absolutely unnatural.
If you follow rules and regulations for some time, you understand it's natural.
But nevertheless, despite of this, people still don't follow this and there is always a temptation not to follow this and people all the time try to violate and try to invent new ways to become happy.
Even though all the ways to become happy are already described in the scriptures — just follow the scriptures, you become happy, guaranteed, 100%. Money back if you don't become happy.
You will become happy, no doubt about it. But you know, of course, you have to have faith for this. And as I said, Krishna is very analytically and very in a very intelligent way. He explains, he understands our problem.
By describing this, Krishna says, I know your problem. I know it's difficult for you, but please try. He's basically begging us, please, please, please try to follow what I said. It will be good for you.
Deeply ingrained attachments and aversions
And this is one of these verses which describes the problem, and the problem is described in the first part of this verse. Indriyasya indriyārthe indriyasya indriyārthe rāga-dveṣau vyavasthitau.
Śrīla Prabhupāda gives a slightly different translation, but you know, I'll give a slightly different translation, but they don't, you know, ultimately they don't deviate.
It's just to explain how Krishna is describing the problem. He says, My dear children, I know that vyavastito means established. It can mean also regulated. Rāga-dveṣau should be regulated, as Prabhupāda says.
But it can also mean that this rāga and dveṣa, the natural attachment and the natural aversion to something is very deeply established in your mind and in your senses. Indriyasya indriyārthe.
Everyone, in other words, what Krishna is saying to us is that we are born already with certain problems which are already recorded in our brain. Vyavasthitau, rāga and dveṣa.
You know, we naturally don't like something which is, you know, we naturally don't like certain aromas or whatever, certain uh smells. Some smells are very repelling, right?
You know, we feel this and it's just natural aversion is there. And the natural attachment is there. Nobody taught you that, you know, jasmine flower scent is is nice.
You know, it's just nobody said it's nice. You just smell it, oh it's nice, right? So but this is an innocent example.
There are much more difficult problems which are already there in our mind, and everyone is born with these programs.
Later in the seventh chapter, Krishna will say this: that everyone is born with this iccha-dveṣa-samutthena dvandva-mohena bhārata. Samuthina Dwandva Mohina Bharata.
He says, from the start you already have iccha and dveṣa.
You want something, you attach to something, something good, you naturally feel something is good, and some and you naturally feel that something is repulsive to you. You don't like it.
And you know, I gave a very good example about this jasmine flower scent.
But also sometimes this program can be completely perverted. Sometimes you may have unnatural attachment to something which is normally repulsive, and that's a problem.
You know, if all the problems which were there in our mind would be natural, that would not be a problem.
But because we have different experiences in the life, and because we are an emotional being, we interpret this experience in a certain way, these programs are sometimes very wrong.
And the scriptures are there to straighten these programs. Listen, this is a very important understanding. You know, we have problems and some programs are contaminated by some viruses.
And we know that viruses, they create havoc, right? If you have virus in your computer, he can destroy everything.
So some of our attachments may create havoc in our life, and some of our aversions may create havoc in our life. Who can confirm this on his own experience? Please raise your hand. Only me, huh? Okay, no. A few more.
What I mean to say that we have certain attachments which are destructive, isn't it? Please be honest for a change. There are certain attachments which are destructive, which are ultimately not beneficial for us.
And there's certain aversions which again are destructive and not beneficial for us.
Like for example, nobody wants—this is not my example, this is the example which Viśvanātha Cakravartī Ṭhākura gives by explaining this verse. And actually Prabhupāda gives this verse. He says every man wants to have many relationships, many loving relationships, because every man has such a big heart.
He cannot just give his big heart to one woman. He wants to give it to many women. And in some people this program is very strong. He cannot do anything about this program.
He just he just has to follow this program. He's following this program very obediently. You know, he's attached. You know, he sees a new girl and he's attached. And Vishwanatha Cakravarti Thakura gives another example.
You know, some people are, you know, have natural aversion. Natural means they are born with this aversion, inborn aversion, to associate with sadus. You know, I hope you're not all this kind.
But you know, they see sadhus and they, they feel natural aversion to him. Who is this man in the you know orange clothes who is saying something to me? Who he thinks he is? He's stupid himself, so on, so forth.
Again, this reaction may be there. So what Krishna says here, please understand that there are these programs are very deeply ingrained in our mind already. That's a reality, unfortunately. That's a reality which we have.
And because these programs are already there, it's so natural that we come under the control of these programs. And therefore, Krishna says, Tayor Navasama Gathyed, you should not be controlled by these programs.
And I will explain the mechanisms of this control, which is very important to our topic, because ultimately, what Krishna says: why it is so easy to come under the control. He says Vasham. Vasham means to be controlled.
Why practically everyone is the slave of these programs.
Biological mechanisms behind human emotions
Because, as I said, they are emotional by nature. And Krishna says this. He says, raga and dvesha. Raga and dvesha are two basic emotions. You know, there are so many emotions, there is a huge spectrum of emotions.
But if we take uh this in a very black and white uh way, we will see that there is raga. Raga means I like it, right? It's something good. And dvesha means I don't like it, it's something bad. Right?
These two emotions they're driving us and there is a very strong mechanism which puts us under control of these emotions.
So when we have these problems, these programs, I like it or I don't like it, ultimately they create certain chemicals. And these chemicals, which are called hormones or you know neurotransmitters
when we meet something which we think is good, which according to the program, when we for example, when we e'atreing something, and according to our programs, it's something good.
Like, for example, let's take this gross example: somebody likes meat. And you know, he may be a little poor person, it's difficult for him to get meat in India, you know, and he he achieves meat ultimately.
And you know, his program which is there says, oh this is very good. Oh, it you achieve something. So at this moment, because of this program, this program starts working.
Because of this program, certain hormones starts developing, starts being produced in the mind, and the mind says, Oh, this is this is so good. I mean, oh, this is so good.
You know, what is good is not the taste of this meat. The taste may be horrible. What is good is the emotional taste which you experience in this moment.
Basically, dopamine is being produced and you you get an absurd of dopamine and you say, oh, this is so good. Dopamine.
You know, dopamine is this this hormone which gives you energy and this gives you enthusiasm and you achieve something, you achieve this piece of meat, or you achieve some other goal which you think is good, you achieve some, you know, it may be illicit, but uh there is a produce of this hormone, and it gives you such a nice feeling, and you say, Wow, I want it more.
So you know, we have this emotional reactions connected with these programs and these programs already have this emotional charge in them.
And therefore, you know, and when these chemicals are produced, there is a chain reaction.
It's not only that these chemicals are produced in the brain, these chemicals also have a very profound influence on our whole body.
The whole body you know, when dopamine is produced, the whole body feels is so good, and you know there are so many things which are happening there.
Especially if it comes to sex, you know, we have we know that these chemicals are produced in the brain because there is a certain system in the brain which is called reward system.
Interestingly enough, this reward system produces all these good hormones, the hormones of positive hormones so to speak, the hormones of happiness. Actually I read the whole book.
This whole book is called The Hormones of Happiness and it teaches you how to become happy, you know, basically.
So, but interestingly enough, please listen, it's a very interesting point. It's a little humorous point, but interesting. According to the scientists, neuroscientists who study the brain.
There are different, many, many difficult, different areas of our brain. But the reward system which produces all these nice hormones is produced in an area of the brain which is called the
how you how you say it in English uh the the uh the body with the tail. You know there is a there is a certain shape of this area
in the brain because the brain is very complicated in nature, but it's it it has a certain tail. So basically I I think it has something to do with our animalistic nature, you know and this you
know body with the tail in the brain, you know, our animalistic I mean chimpanzee in us, the monkey in us becomes very happy at this moment. So what I mean to say basically is that this emotional reaction is very strong.
And therefore, when emotional reaction comes, especially when it comes to the level of the body, it's very difficult to resist it.
You know, the raga is very strong, attachment is very strong, Dvesha, aversion is also very strong. You know, if we don't like something, you know, we don't like dentists, you know, we have natural aversion to dentists.
You know, we may be shaking before going to dentists. When I was a little kid, you know, this now this machines are very nice, but when I was a small kid the machines were horrible, you know. It was it was a torture.
So I was emotionally disturbed for one week before going to the dentist. All the bad hormones were produced in my body all the time. you know I was shaking and I was you know this very strong reactions
what I want to say is that uh this that this reactions of good and bad they're basically uh They're created by God and by nature to help us to live in this world happily.
But the problem is that we get these wrong problems in them. And we attach something And we attach something bad with good programs. That's the problem. That's the problem.
We interpret something as good which is ultimately not good for us. And we interpret something which is bad, which is ultimately not bad, but good for us. You know, to control our sex drive is good, but who likes it?
Nobody likes it. To fast two days a month is very good, but who likes to fast? Nobody likes to fast. Nobody likes to fast. Everyone wants to eat as much as possible.
Regulating desires through Vedic wisdom
So here Krishna says, and this is his advice: how to develop emotional intelligence. His advice is actually very good. He says it's very simple to develop your emotional intelligence. You have to regulate your emotions.
To regulate your emotions, just read Scriptures and Scriptures will explain to you why it is not good for you and why it is bad for you. The Scriptures will tell you the consequences of certain actions.
You know, if we take Puranas, Puranas are full of these stories which are explaining the bad consequences of bad actions and the good consequences of good actions.
You know, you do this and you will get this and this and this and this.
You know, you you associate with many women and you know you're not the first one who did it luckily and there is a lot of experience about it and we will explain to you what will happen, you will suffer ultimately, you know that you will become weak, you will become completely, you know, emotionally disturbed, so on and so forth.
So what Krishna says here, it's very important, but we will go a little further than what he says. I just take this verse as a start for our discussion on this. But Krishna gives a very important advice.
He says: please try to rewrite these problems which are there in your mind. And you can control it. How can you control it?
Because luckily you not only have this tailory, you know, hairy body in your brain, which is animalistic nature. All these emotions actually are recorded in our even the scientists call it reptile brain.
There is a certain reptile brain which is a very primitive brain. And all these very strong emotional reactions which are there are there in this primitive brain.
But there is a modern, so-called modern brain, the developed brain, which can control them. So the human being is not only regulated by this emotional brain, but there is a very complicated mechanism which helps to regulate our emotions with our higher intelligence.
And what the scriptures do, when we read Bhagavad-gītā, when we associate with devotees, when we read Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam, especially, the scriptures will put the good programs in our mind.
And they will replace these virus programs. You know that there are certain you know certain IT firms which produce this anti-viruses program, right?
You know, the new viruses produced and immediately the new anti-virus is produced by this program. So Scriptures is the ancient anti-virus programs.
They can actually eradicate all the wrong programs which are there from the births. And in this way, can make you completely happy if you study scriptures with your intelligence. Not just mechanically.
Unfortunately the tendency is that oh this is just a nice myth. Oh, nice story, very nice story. But you know, you read and you're being entertained.
You know, somebody tells you a story, and if you order a very nice story, very nice story. And you go out and you know, you're the same, nothing changed.
The scriptures are there to give you some experience and to change you ultimately.
The scriptures are there, but the change takes place if you think about it, and if you try to derive lessons from this, and if you try to apply it in your own life.
So, what Krishna speaks here is that you can understand that you know regulated sense enjoyment is good and unregulated is bad. If you follow the scriptures and if you understand and if you get the experience.
Basically, scriptures don't say follow blindly. Scriptures say, see, this is what happened. This is the experience. This is the bad consequences of the violation of the rules of the scriptures.
And scriptures say please try it for some time in your life. And you feel the benefit. You feel the more energy, you feel the more enthusiasm, you feel much more comp less stressed and so on and so forth.
So this is basically the instruction of this verse. Of course, Śrīla Prabhupāda goes further. He says, even regulated sense enjoyment according to Vedic scriptures is dangerous. And we will touch it a little later.
But for now, I wanted to describe something different, something more about this. About this emotional intelligence. Basically, I gave the very fundamental and very very basic, very simple understanding.
Yeah, emotions are produced, they are produced by the programs. We have to be very clear about this. And we have to be very sober.
And there is an intelligence which we have, and this intelligence is there to tell us ultimately how, to regulate these emotions.
Psychological insights on delay of gratification
It's actually this whole notion, this whole concept of emotional intelligence was developed after one very interesting experiment. This experiment was as such that little children, 5 years old
or 6 years old, or under 10 years old, I think 7 or 6 years old, few of them were put in a room, and in front of every one of them was put a very nice cake or chocolate or whatever it is. Something very nice.
And then the teacher told all these children, you know, I will go out now, and you will be completely free to do, but if you don't eat this chocolate, you will get two. So, and he went out.
And all children, you know, they they were confronted with a very difficult task. How to control their emotions.
The programs are there, the emotions are working, the chemicals are produced, there is a saliva in the mouth, and you know, and they already feel how good it is.
And you know, it's so good, it's so good, it's so good and you know this two it's you know it's it it will be later but it's right in front of you.
And most of children they just went for it and you and they felt little guilty, but ultimately they felt happy. But few of them didn't take this chocolate or whatever was put in front of them.
So but you know 10 years later the the scientists they study all these children 10 years later you know those children who didn't eat chocolate and who got two chocolates, they were much more successful in all areas of life.
They achieved much more because they were able to control this.
So again, the simple point is that we have to learn it and it's it's something which we we can learn and scriptures are there the association of the devotees is there the association of saintly people is there just to teach us this
simple thing how to become happy and how to regulate it. But what I want also to say is that there is more to it. There is little more to it. So let's go a little deeper into this subject matter.
This simple description is there, it's basic, it's important for us to understand and we should not fall prey to all these temptations which are there according to all these problems which we have.
But what I want to say is that these programs are triggered or they are awakened or activated by certain triggers in the environment, right? You know, we see something which gives us certain connection
and all this, some scar which is there... Ultimately it's all samskaras. The samskaras are there and samskaras say, oh this is good, this is good, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it.
So one more thing which we have to learn about this is that first of all definitely if we want to control our mind first of all we should avoid all these triggers or at least for some time, we should try to deactivate these programs which are there.
And for that, we should try to avoid the contact with all these you know tempting images which may create or activate these bad programs. It's very important. This is one very important discipline which we have to follow.
You know, sometimes people think, what is what's so bad, you know, I would just look at some certain images on the internet and we all know what kind of images are there. It's very bad. You activating very bad programs.
You know, it's basically what it means that by one side you try to develop your higher nature.
You know, and by controlling this lower nature, you're developing your higher nature, your human nature, your nice nature, you know, but
by activating these base programs, you are developing your uh animal animalistic nature. You know, and this is what people do.
With one hand they're trying to ignite the fire, and with the other hand, they're putting putting water in this fire. And then somehow or other they say, no, this spiritual life doesn't work. I only suffer.
Why do you suffer? Because you you know because there is no fire. There is only smoke. And smoke is very bad and you're you you're crying and crying and crying. But why smoke is there?
Because you're not consistent. Because you are not determined. Therefore, Krishna gives another very important instruction to us. You have to be very determined. You will achieve success. There is no doubt about it.
You will get happiness. You will get all the good results, but you have to be determined. And determination means you really have to follow the straight line and not to compromise on it.
You know you will get this fire, beautiful fire of spiritual emotions. You will become completely happy. You will become totally mad out of love of Krishna. You will become intoxicated with this love.
But to achieve this, you have to restrain yourself and you have to be very determined. And you have to understand how it works, that's that's another thing which I wanted to tell you.
And another thing even more subtle, we really have to analyze ourselves. We really have to understand how our mind and our body works. And now please listen very carefully because this is an extremely important point.
Recognizing physical signs of emotions
Why emotions reach the stage when they are uncontrollable.
And I'm sure we all experience in our life certain events when we know that this is something bad and still you do it and you just think I'll do it. I'll do it anyway. I know it's bad for me. I know nothing is good.
You know, anger comes, right? Anger comes and anger is so strong, you know, and uh and you cannot control it, right? Did it happen with you sometimes? No. It comes.
And you don't remember what Krishna said and you know he said it's it's all very nice, yeah, it's true, but I can do it. I have to go for this emotion because the emotion became very strong.
So, one more very important advice is that don't get to this stage. Try to learn how this emotion manifests in a degree in you.
In this way you will be able to control it before it became the fire by which you cannot do anything with.
At one point, when the fire is very small, it's very easy to put it down, right? It's just little fire and just, you know, that's it.
And then when it becomes big, you know, there are huge cars, you know, they're pouring water and nothing happens. The fire is raging and raging and you know destroying everything.
So what I want to say is that you know we have to learn and study ourselves how these emotions uh to to gain control over these emotions we have to really minutely analyze ourselves and become very introspective and see how it manifests in us.
Every emotion, as I said, which is very important. Every emotion, as I said, has something which is going on in the brain or in the mind, and something which is coming in the body. Right?
It has a physical expression in it.
And we know when it's, you know, when it's really when the lust becomes very high, you know, or anger become high, or eyes become red and you know it's just and something is you know there is some some animal is is somewhere in your stomach and it's just making some sounds there and so many other physical reactions.
But when you become a little angry, the also physical reaction is there. You please try to learn all these subtle, and usually, people don't understand this. What happened? Usually people don't understand their emotions.
Usually people don't understand how the emotions express in their body and in their mind. What happens with us? You know, we suppress our emotions very often. And the idea is not to suppress the emotion.
Dangers of suppressing negative emotions
Here is a very subtle point. When the scriptures tell us that you should control emotions, scriptures don't tell us you suppress your emotions.
Even Krishna in the previous verse he says, Nigraham Kimkarishati. He says, you cannot achieve anything by suppressing the emotions. Emotion is a very powerful energy.
If your mind already, if if the program is already working, it produces some chemicals, and you try to suppress it and you try to make it so that nothing happens.
You know, you you're ch you know the anger is there and you you say I have to control my anger and then you know The energy is still there.
What happens with all these suppressed emotions, they go into the subconsciousness.
You know, they they uh they ripen your consciousness, but then you suppress them and you put them somewhere in subconsciousness. And ultimately, what happens, you know, your subconscious mind becomes full of all these negative emotions which you suppressed.
You know, some people, I've seen it, some people try to suppress their anger on that they're not happy and they're suppressing and suppressing and suppressing what happens with this especially in the family life especially that's what women do very often they're initially they they try to suppress their negative emotions and they say I have to be obedient and you know there's they don't like something and they don't show it and they put it there, put it there, put it there, the positive there.
And at one point what happens with this? It explodes. The whole accumulated energy over the years, all these negative emotions were there in subconsciousness. It was there.
And all of a sudden, you know, for thirty years she was accumulating these negative emotions and all of a sudden she's just expressing all of them. And she says, 30 years back you said to me this.
And an innocent husband said, really? How do you remember it? He doesn't remember this, but he was remembering this for 30 years because he didn't express it properly.
So what I mean to say is that to control our emotions doesn't mean suppressing emotions because when you suppress emotions the energy becomes accumulated and it ultimately becomes very destructive.
What usually happens with people, they live certain life and because they live life in a society, you know there are social norms, especially in more traditional society, which Indian society is still to a certain degree a little more traditional than the Western society, and they accumulate so many negative emotions.
What happens when they become old, all these negative emotions surface. And they become depressed. Have you seen very depressed old people? You know, they get all these feelings, bad feelings, guilt feelings.
They you know they get all this, you know, the so many bad emotions are there. So that's another thing which we have to understand.
We have to learn first of all how to see and how to feel this emotion and to express it properly. You know, to control emotions, actually the ability to express the emotion.
And this is a very important lesson which I wanted also to or instruction or whatever to tell you what to do. You know you feel some emotion. And when emotion is weak, it's easy as I said to suppress it.
But suppressing is not the point because again as I said so many little weak angers when they are suppressed they become very strong anger at the end.
Story of Saubhari Muni on suppression
And they become very destructive and sometimes they take very you know very exaggerated forms and shapes. One example of it was uh Shaw Bari Muni.
Show Bari Mooney had some lust and he was trying to suppress this lust, this lusty feelings in him, and he went to under the water, you know, he and he was there for many thousands of years and he got all the you know seaweeds around his body and he was controlling his breath and everything and and he was really successful and the last was accumulating and accumulating and accumulating.
And then he saw just few fishes which are engaged in sexual intercourse. And he said, Oh, this is a good idea. Immediately the whole lust accumulated and he went and he he got fifty wives.
You know, instead of one wife, which would be not so bad, he got fifty all of sudden.
So what I say, uh, very important point: suppression is not a solution. You have to, you have to first of all, you have to understand, I am angry now.
You know, you may be a little angry, but you have to understand, I'm angry, I don't like what is going on. Don't try to make sure that you're not angry.
Don't try to, you know, you're angry. Let's let's let's, okay, let's let's do it, you know, it's it's okay.
No, you have to understand, I am angry, and please in this way, uh, in this moment when you feel, you will be able to express it properly.
You will be able to say, and the formula which I will give now is very important, you will be able to say in a very calm way, somehow or other, what you do or what you said now, I don't like it.
You know, usually what happens when people get angry with each other, they start blaming each other.
You know, something is, somebody is doing this and is doing something, and you feel anger and you express your anger improperly. To express your anger improperly, it starts blaming, you are bad. You did something bad.
You know, instead of saying, I feel angry at you now. Instead of saying the truth, which is truth, you know, I feel angry at you. You said this and I feel bad or I feel angry or I feel hurt. You know, it's so simple.
Somebody said to you something, and you very honestly say to him, I feel hurt at this moment.
Somehow or other, you said this, why did you say this? And maybe he will explain to you, and everything will be resolved properly. Or he will say, Oh, really, you feel hurt, I'm sorry, I didn't want to hurt you.
He will say this. But usually we try to suppress it, and we don't show it, and, but still the bad feeling is there, we don't express it.
So, what I mean to say: if we know what's going on in us, in our body, if we know how emotion manifests, we will be able to express it in a proper way, not in a harmful way. We will learn how to express it properly.
You know, I feel hurt. There's nothing wrong with it. You know, I'm not blaming, you know, you're bad. I just somehow or other you did something which hurts me, and the other
person he will be able to relate to it and whereas you if you say to him, you're bad, what he will say back to you, you're bad. And you know there is there is no end to this argument because there's there's your bad,
no your bad, no, you are bad, no okay, okay. No, but you know you you tell the truth. If you know what's happening in you, you will be able to say it. That's what I mean.
At least, even if you cannot express it to some other person, at least you will be able to say it to yourself, which is good enough. I feel angry now. If you say to yourself, then already you're expressing your anger.
Whereas if you feel some emotion and by feeling this emotion y y you you pretend that there is no anger in you, you know, because I am I am a devotee and I am totally self-controlled
And am I a sādhu? Sādhus are not supposed to get angry, so I'm angry, but somehow or other I'm not angry. You lie to yourself. What we do all the time, we lie to other people and we lie to ourselves.
But whereas, if we learn how to see the emotions, how to understand how these emotions expressed in us and if we say to them then it's already we expressing them and they're not so dangerous.
You know if we always lie to ourselves we become sick ultimately. All these negative emotions which we accumulate is the cause of all the diseases. Because all diseases start in the mind. Why is the cancer is there?
Cancer is nothing but suppressed emotions. The emotion of guilt, the emotion of you know, so many emotions. Ultimately, because of this suppressed and accumulated emotions, you develop certain subconscious program.
I don't want to leave, I'm so unhappy here. You have so many negative emotions. Accumulate it in yourself, which you yourself guilty, you I'm not making you guilty, but you yourself responsible for this.
What I want to say is that we have to be to become happy. We have to understand how emotion works and we have to express these emotions in a nice way, in a proper way. Or at least to say to ourselves, I am angry yet.
Yeah, I'm sad, I am a devotee, still I am angry. No problem with it.
Sādhu is supposed to be honest first of all, because the word sādhu means straight. He's straightforward. He has to admit, yes, I'm angry, I'm lusty now. You have to admit, yes, I'm lusty, yes.
And uh if you see this last, it becomes already controllable and you can watch it from a little distance, you're not controlled by it. Because you're observing it.
Becoming an objective observer of thoughts
What I want to say is that when we try to learn this art of absorbing these emotions, we are disassociating ourselves from these programs.
All these programs become so powerful and overpower us and completely deprive us of our intelligence only because we completely identify ourselves with these programs.
And the lack of the observation or ability to observe how these programs manifest in us is a very good way to become controlled by these programs. So what I want to say, please try to become the observer of ourselves.
Try to become to observe how your mind works, how your heart works, how your emotions work. And this is a skill which we which unfortunately we don't learn. You know, this is the skill which we should learn.
How do I feel now? And why I feel now the way I feel.
Because usually what happens, people feel some emotion, but because they have certain misconception or certain conception about ourselves, they somehow or other they they cannot really allow themselves to understand that this is happening with them.
You know, they feel lust. And but because they already have certain conception of us, I'm so elevated. They think probably it's love of God.
In Mahābhārata, there is a beautiful part which is called Kāma Gītā. The song of Kamadev. Beautiful song. It's a short song, just a few verses there.
But Kāmadeva says, oh, it's a song of Kāmadeva, and Kāmadeva says, or you know, I can come to you in any shape and form which you like. If you want, I become renunciation. The kāma, lust comes to you as a renunciation.
I'm sorry, nouns, but it's kāma. It's lust. It's your wrong animalistic nature. I can come to you as love of God, I can come to you in any shape or form. So what I want to say is that we have to develop this honesty.
I feel these emotions. And when we observe this immediately, it's not me. I can control it.
But if we think, oh, that's me and I feel some transcendental love towards God who is manifested as this beautiful bhakti or whatever it is. I don't know. Or, you know, you know, oh, I'm so I'm such a preacher, you know.
It's it's all lost. Karma can come to you in any shape and form. To control lust, you have to disassociate from the lust. And for that, you have to learn how to observe them.
How to how all these emotions manifest in your body. Okay, this is a good lesson. You know, you really have to sit, uh, every day and think, what what do I really feel? And what is the cause?
The problem is that we feel something and we interpret it according to our false conception of ourselves, according to our false ego. I'm supposed to be such and such. I'm supposed to be very kind.
Therefore I cannot be angry. You know, but you are angry. But I cannot be angry. So there is a conflict. So please try to be honest. This is the most important thing.
This is one thing which I wanted to tell you, and perhaps I should finish now, but I will say just a few more words about this. How to develop this emotional intelligence.
So, one way is to learn scriptures, as I said, and think about scriptures and to live according to the scriptures. Another way is to understand how these emotions, when they are not strong, how they manifest in us.
How to and try to observe them. You know, when the emotions become very high, even if you observe them, you will be carried away.
Krishna says that even one, you know, when one sense is uncontrolled, even the men of high intelligence can be carried away by this. So try to learn how to do this.
And then one more important thing, you know, observe these emotions, try to dissociate yourself from these emotions. Try to learn what the reality of your mind and of your heart is. Really, be very honest.
And one more thing which I wanted, yeah, of course, be very determined, which I also said, not to you know not to allow yourself little small things because otherwise, you will always reactivate all these bad problems.
We have to get rid of these bad problems to become happy. We have to really reach the stage when we are completely pure and we are loving God.
And one more thing which I will tell you, and little conclusion I will also tell, one more thing is that you know all these emotions start from from the thought.
So and where you know all these you know thoughts are coming to us. So ultimately we will have to control our thought processes. The programs which are there they create certain thought patterns.
We see somebody and certain thought pattern is there. So at the very inception, if you want to control emotions, you should control your mind.
It basically means controlling your mind basically means try to learn how to think in a very beneficial way. And that means Krishna consciousness.
Try to learn how to think about Krishna, how to think about the welfare of all other living entities and everyone else.
So, but there is one more thing which I wanted to tell you, very important, perhaps even more important, than what I said.
Cultivating positive emotions through saranagati
This is all different techniques which are important for us to control negative emotions and negative programs in us and to develop emotional intelligence. But there is one more thing which I wanted to say.
We can positively develop some positive emotions. The best way to counteract negative emotions is to program us into the positive emotions. And this is what Krishna consciousness is all about.
Krishna consciousness is not about suppressing bad things. You know, sometimes these bad things are very strong, but Krishna consciousness is about developing certain sort of emotions towards God.
And what kind of emotions we can develop, this kind of emotions which we can develop are called Saranagati. Śaraṇāgati, as Bhaktivinoda Ṭhākura explains, is the set of five emotions.
And if we cultivate these five positive emotions, then the negative emotions will be desactivated and will ultimately be completely eradicated from our system, from our mind.
He says these five positive emotions is first the emotion of determination. You know, I will do it, I will follow the scripture. This is the first emotion. I will do it. No matter what, this is my goal.
This is the first thing. He said another emotion is that the emotion of trust.
You know, we have to think all the time how God protects us, how there is a protection of God through different means, different devices, through association of devotees, through Śrīla Prabhupāda, how He actually protected us.
You know, how He protected us in many different situations, because we have to trust God. So that's a second emotion, trust towards God, Vishwas, that is ultimately my well-wisher, he wants good to me.
He's protecting me all the time. The third emotion is the emotion of gratitude. He provided me with so many things. He gave me this body. He gave me this intelligence, I was born in a good family,
you know, he gave me so many things all the time, and he continues to do this. I do very little for him, but he does so many things for me. This is other emotion of gratitude. And then emotion of humility.
You know, I'm myself as very helpless. What can I do? This is a very realistic emotion which we have to positively cultivate. And ultimately the emotion of self-surrender. I'm yours. I belong to you. I am not independent.
I am yours. So this five emotions of self-surrender, of self-sacrifice, these five emotions, they are material emotions. They are not spiritual emotions.
Spiritual emotions, it's prema and love of God, and this is what not, you know, I'm I'm intoxicated with love of God. They're material emotions. But this is good because material emotions you can rehearse,
you can repeat, you can train yourself in these emotions. Have you ever trained yourself in anger? You got little angry at somebody, and then you think about him more, and you become more angry.
And then you put his picture in front of us. And then you remember what he said and you remember again and he you you become more angry and more angry and more angry and more angry. Okay? Did you ever do this?
No, somebody said to you a few words and he forget about this and you remember about this for one week. And the more you think about it, the more, you know, the more hellish it becomes, right?
You know in other words, you know how to rehearse these emotions, right? You know how to rehearse. Why not rehearse good emotions? Why not see somebody who has good emotions? Somebody who is humility personified.
And this is emotion. He's really genuinely humble. Why not put his picture in front of yourself? And not somebody who is evoking this anger in you.
Why not think about him? Why not, you know, why not cultivate this emotion of gratitude? Have you ever met somebody who is very grateful? You know, who is grateful?
Grateful is a person, you do him very little, and he's, he's so grateful to you. Have you ever met such people? Why not rehearse this emotion? Why not try to do this?
So by these emotions, that's why acharyas of Gaudiya Vaisnavas, they say that saranagati is not bhakti, it's not bhakti yet but it's the door to bhakti. If we want to overcome the negative emotions,
then we have to cultivate these positive emotions which elevate us. Whereas all the negative emotions, lust, greed, anger, guilt, they all degrade us. They all make us concentrate on ourselves.
But if we positively cultivate these good emotions of saranagati, five emotions of saranagati, then we will be at the door of the kingdom of spiritual emotions. The spiritual emotions start after death.
All of a sudden you feel you start crying and you don't know why you're crying. Why? Because your heart is purified by the material emotions? No. Material emotions contaminate the heart.
make our heart hard, and material emotions ultimately make us very self-centered. It's bad for me, let me do something bad. But spiritual emotions elevate us and ultimately prepare
our heart to the descent of spiritual emotions. Why I said that this is good, that these are material emotions, because you cannot rehearse spiritual emotions. If you rehearse spiritual emotions, what does it mean?
It means sahajiyas. You know, let me rehearse crying about Krishna. Let me cry. Let me take some some onion and put on. Maybe it will work. No. Spiritual emotions they descend by the good will of Krishna.
But for them to descend in our heart, we have to prepare our heart. Therefore, in Padma Purāṇa, there is a beautiful verse. How it's called Śoka Marṣa Ādi Bhāvai. Akrantah Yasyamana Sa. That's very beautiful verse.
And this verse that is said, Śoka, Amarṣa, Ādi, Bhāva. If all these bhāvas, all these emotions like śoka, grief, amarṣa means anger and greed and lust and so on so forth.
Śoka Amarṣa Ādi Bhāva. If your mind is attacked by these emotions, if your mind is overpowered by these emotions, then what katham
how is it, um, Mukundasya sphūrti bhavet? Uh, I don't remember exactly Sanskrit, but the essence is this: how the Lord will be reflected in your heart,
how the sphūrti of God will be in your heart, how you will be able to think about God. Did you try to think about God? Did it work? Not really. Hare Kṛṣṇa, Hare Kṛṣṇa. Do you think about God?
No, you think about somebody who offended you. Hare Kṛṣṇa, Hare Kṛṣṇa. Kṛṣṇa. Oh you think about what you will do tomorrow, what you will do today, what you did past or whatever. You don't think about God. Why?
Because your heart is occupied. Your heart is completely overpowered by all these material negative emotions.
And therefore, Padma Purāṇa says, kathaṁ sphūrti bhavet? Mukundasya sphūrti bhavet. How the Lord who gives you liberation, Mukunda, will manifest in your heart. You will never feel free from all this material bondage.
You will only be a slave of this material emotions. Therefore, we have to learn how to purify our heart from material emotions
Question and answer on tolerance
by cultivating the positive emotions of śaraṇāgati, which are only five, and everything else which I said today. If you remember, if you don't remember, no problem, just chant Hare Krishna.
Maybe there's a couple of questions. But uh in the scriptures we uh like many times it is mentioned that we should be tolerant.
So what is difference between because tolerance is also like what giving the first same tolerance is the power to digest your anger.
If by tolerance you are able to digest your anger, if if you basically somebody offends you and you're tolerant, tolerant means you don't feel anger.
Tolerant means you say, oh, my karma is like this, and he's hurting me because I deserved it. That's what tolerance means.
Tolerance doesn't mean that you become completely angry and you suppress the anger. Tolerance means your reaction is different.
Or even if you feel little anger, by the power of your tolerance and your intelligence, you digest this anger. You said, no, I I shouldn't be angry. That's actually, you know, why should I be angry at somebody?
It's ultimately so and if you genuinely uh don't feel angry, if you're free from anger by this tolerance, then you're tolerant. If you just if you pretend to be tolerant, you're not tolerant.
But how to like understanding is not like uh we may be thinking that I'm tolerating. Just again, uh why people think they are tolerant? Because they don't know that they're angry in reality.
They don't know how the anger manifests and they think, oh I am very tolerant. I swallowed this anger. Oh no I didn't react No no nothing is happening. I am very cool cool cool.
They are completely tense. And they think I'm very tolerant. Because they learn that tolerance is good. But this is wrong. You know, this is how people misuse the rules.
Rules are there to teach us to become tolerant in the true sense. Tolerant in the true sense. You're not angry. You're tolerant. It's not that you're pretending to be.
And why we don't understand again, because we don't know how to express. We lie to ourselves. There are very strong self the mechanisms of self-deception. And therefore we we don't understand. And not honest.
Honest is to say, yeah, I'm afraid. I feel the emotion of fear now. I know it's not spiritual, but I feel it. What can I do? I feel it. And you know, and I absorb it. And it means that already it's not so bad.
So, but yes, I honestly admit, I yeah, I am not Abhaya Charanaravinda, A. C. Bhaktivedanta Swami, from I am not on this level, I am not fearless. level, I am not fearless. Fine.
And I'm not Haridāsa Ṭhākura. Who is so tolerant that you know they're beating him and he says, oh my dear Lord, please forgive them. You know, you may say this, but you don't feel like it. And there is a difference.
I'm sure you will not forget what they're doing to me, but please forgive them. No, no. No. He genuinely, that that's the example of tolerance. They're beating him and he says, please forgive them. I'm not angry with them.
It should not be imitated, it should be developed, and it's a different difference. And what I explained is the way to develop it. How to develop it. Okay? Okay. Thank you very much. We will, okay. Yeah.
You were mentioning the five principles of śāntatā. So as a devotee we can develop these principles of śāntatā to our to Lord, towards Lord, towards devotees, towards people who are protected us in that people.
But what if we are uh we all we are also associated with people who are not used who whom we work with say our cause uh do we have to develop gratitude and all these emotions towards them?
When we associate with these people, it's a very important question. We associate with them and we have to be grateful, we have to be human, we have to be normal, definitely.
But what we shouldn't do in dealing with these people, we should not become emotionally dependent on them. Any dependence is an emotional dependence.
And the bad association, the association becomes bad when we become emotionally dependent on them, and through this channel of emotional dependence, we get their bad qualities.
You know, to be grateful, you're not emotionally dependent on them. Emotionally, I am dependent on my guru, on devotees, on the Lord. Why? Because by this dependence I will develop their qualities, their qualities will come to me.
But uh for them uh I I'm not emotionally dependent on them. I'm associating, I'm nice, I'm I'm I'm trying to you know I'm doing my duty, but I'm not emotionally dependent on them.
I d I don't depend uh because I'm not dependent on their opinion. They may think whatever they like about me. I'm not dependent on their opinion.
Uh I'm not dependent on them, uh uh especially emotion, then their bad qualities will not influence me. If I'm dependent on them emotionally, for sure we will be influenced by them.
Their desires will come to us through this channel of emotional dependence. Okay, we will have one more chance, or maybe two more chance to meet but it all depends.
Hare Krishna, Brahamji is helping with the situation I'm facing these days a lot. My daughter is four years old and she is often asking
me that why Krishna is not coming and playing with me. And I show her the photos and everything, I say if you call her and he will come. And the thing is, we never say and we never lie to her.
We always say to explain her things. And then when I say that, and then she says Hare Krishna, and then she says, she says, I'm calling, but he's still not playing with me, but you said that he will play with me.
So I just don't know how to deal with this situation. I'm standing in front of him and I mean she said I said maybe. And then she said just I have to be like me and then only he will come.
She asked me, I just don't know how to answer this question from a four-year-old, just uh help me, I mean I have to be honest and I have to restrain to her and I just don't know what to tell her.
I wish everyone would have such a problem. You please tell her the stories about uh other stories when Krishna would come and play with other children. And you tell her when you become like them, Krishna will come.
You just try to become like them, see how they are, how they're nice, how they like Krishna, how they you know they know and maybe we can talk about this tomorrow.
But ultimately, I think this is a very honest answer to this question. You just when you become like them, Krishna will sure play with you.
And when he will come to play with you please also don't forget about me also want to play with him, because I'm sure she will come to her. Okay. Thank you very much. Hare Kṛṣṇa. Thank you.